HOCD?!?!?!? IM LOSING MY MIND

recently I've been having instructive thoughts of being gay or bi, I don't have a desire to be with a woman I don't even want to be gay or bi so what's going on with me? I feel like I'm losing my mind. I have an amazing boyfriend, but these thoughts are controlling me and a voice in my head keeps telling me I'm gay or bi and I don't want to be and I don't feel like I am, someone help me please I don't know what to do anymore, it's something that just won't go away, I'm lost I don't know what to do. I've never liked a girl before I've never had a desire to be with a girl, so why is this so hard? Why is it so realistic? I just want to be my normal heterosexual self but I feel like I can't with this in my head, it's really ruining my life. Please help me.

Welcome to the board. I'm a 31 year old male that has suffered from HOCD since age 19. I saw your other post and noticed your 19, so it struck a chord with me. HOCD feeds on irrational thoughts and causes us to confirm our sexual orientation by checking. I've never had a girlfriend, which I think was the catalyst for my HOCD. I spike when I see handsome men and freak out when I'm not attracted to women. Ultimately, this is a mental disorder and not about sexual orientation.

I always tell folks to see a therapist, but I know some folks cannot afford to consult one. The net best thing is self-help book written by experts in OCD.

i think it's just sensations in your body that are resulted from fear or deep worry. just think about it, what do you really feel? is it attraction, or sensation of fear or something similar?

attraction and fear can have some similar sensations, at least in my experience.

see my answer here: obsessive-compulsive/topic192363.html

If ya don't feel like you're gay or bi..... then go by that. Excited at the idea of being with another girl? No? Then you're not. But that's gotta be a story you pick up, cling to it, and beat your OCD over the head with, rather than it taking this anxiety and beating you up, with.