Guide to Recovery of POCD

Phase one of recovery: The Start

The first mistake when having an anxiety attack is, as many of you know, reassuring yourself that there is no need for this fear with logical arguments. They help for awhile, but become less and less effective, logic is unfortunately not a good way to combat POCD.

As explained in the circle below*, it starts with a thought, the thought itself (called intrusive thoughts) is often not scary and is easily put aside by people as a misfiring in the brain. Unique in the disorder, is that the thought produces a feeling, the feeling of the thought or desire actually being true. It might feel like reality, as if you're just about to act on it, or you really do feel this way. These feelings produce immense fear (the anxiety attack). To get rid of this fear and these feelings we use compulsions (the logic arguments that this thought is definitely not true.) But by the nature of this disorder, the compulsions create new thoughts, like the brain is firing arguments back (ex. The previous argument is invalid because of this new argument or feeling), which leads you right back to the fear phase.

The circle* --> https://s9.postimg.org/o2krgtp5r/Circle_ocd.png

Example:

Thought: This child is pretty

Feeling: You suddenly feel a hint of attraction

Fear: An anxiety attack follows

Compulsion: It is impossible that I am attracted to children because I've been attracted to adults all my life.

New thought: I was mistaken all my life

Feeling: Fleeting feelings of attraction

Fear: Another anxiety attack

end example.

The circle also goes the other way around. Compulsions inspire more fear, fear inspires feelings, and feelings inspire thoughts. The circle can also start at any moment. (You can suddenly get the feeling first followed by the anxiety, it doesnt always start with a thought)

It is a circle that keeps going round and round, no matter how logical your argument is, the disorder will find a way to debunk it.
So to battle it, we need to break the circle, it's not something that is easily done or done in a day, it's a process that takes time and practise.

Since we cant combat it at feeling, fear and thoughts, as those are all involuntarily, we need to break it at compulsion. So when you have an anxiety attack, the first thing to do is let is happen. Fighting it, either with arguments or physically trying to stop it, will only make it stronger and longer. Let it pass. This is terrifying in the beginning, and might feel like getting attacked by a beast without fighting back in any way. It is our instinct to do so, but you must let it wash over you, it will evenutally be over, you can distract yourself with a phone or another toy.

Second, do not make arguments, do not try to tell yourself the thought wasn't true. The best is just to ignore it altogether and distract yourself without thinking about it. And if you must think about it, tell yourself this “If it is true, I do not care”. Which will be terrifying at first and might be impossible to imagine, but it is not impossible. And treating your anxiety IS terrifying and it IS hard. But this teaches your brain that the issue isn't something to be afraid of, which will lessen the anxiety in the long run.
So keep telling yourself: “If it is true, I don't care”.

However, do NOT tell yourself this “It is true and I don't care”. Do not accept a false identity, this might lead you to really believe that you are what you fear and you may not get out of phase 2 this way.

Phase 2 of recovery: The Doubt Phase

In this phase you will have broken the circle, and have taught your brain that the thoughts and feelings do not have to lead to fear. However breaking the circle does not mean it will all disappear right away, not that the compulsions are gone, and the fear has lessened significantly, what it left are the thoughts and feelings, they dont terrify you anymore, but they are still there. I like to call this “The Doubt Phase” as many people will start to wonder if its really an illness, and not just the truth, since fear is a defining sympton of POCD. It is a treacherous, and really annoying phase. You almost start to miss the fear as it at least assured you this was an illness. But even this was just an assurance, and assurances don't heal this sickness. Remember that when you feel this way, not matter how awful it might be, you are closer than recovery than you were before. This phase can last days, weeks or months depending on how long you had POCD. And all you can really do is, grind your teeth and power throught it. Don't start compulsions and fall back into phase one. Your brain needs time rewire, you can get rid of the fear rather fast but your brain is so used to having these thoughts and feelings the strong neurpaths that are build up need time to dissapear. Again, distract yourself during this phase, don't think about it.

Phase 3 of recovery: Recovery

Compared to phase one, this phase feels euphoric, youre no longer plagued by fear, thoughts, feelings and compulsions. You can go through your day like a normal person and lie your head on the pillow at night thinking about stuff that is going on in your life instead of what you used to obsess about.
Compared to who you were before you ever developed anxiety, this phase is mediocre. You will likely never go back to who you were before, you still have the illness radiating in the background. You more than likely will develop a smaller, new fear that will haunt and annoy you. It will be laughable compared to the one you had initially, and now you know how to handle it, you arent suffering anymore. Relapse is possible, your life might have anxiety ups-and-down. And you will have an appreciation for mental health, and the ups of life, like never before.