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Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

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Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

Postby Ocdcod321 » Thu Mar 15, 2018 5:19 pm

I've been struggling with tocd for quite some time now and I feel like I can completely overcome it if I solve this one issue that I can't seem to answer, it's really hard to explain so I'll try my best, but please ask questions if you don't understand. Anyway, I'm pretty confident I don't experience any kind of dysphoria, or anything like that, the only problem I have is when I masterbate. I can't tell if I'm focusing on the girl when I masterbate, or if Im turning into her, it's really weird. I can't really label my sexual fantasies intrusive thoughts because this is how I always fantasized. Now to be clear, I don't imagine myself with breasts or a vagina or anything like that, but when I masterbate, my primary focus is on my partner and her moans, and what she sounds like, my body becomes secondary, and it's always been under the assumption that I was the one making her moan like that. Through researching online I came across Autogynephilia and that's what mind is fixated on, and I can't tell if I'm aroused by my partner or if I'm being my partner. Like I said it's so confusing and I'm explaining it horribly. I honestly think that I've analysed so much that it's confusing me more and more and something deep down is telling me I don't have autogynephilia, but ocd is the doubting disease and sometimes it gets the better of me.
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Re: Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

Postby Snaga » Fri Mar 16, 2018 4:03 am

Well if you don't imagine, much less wish, for breasts and a vagina... it doesn't sound much like anything other than you overthinking this, don't you think? That's what it sounds like to me, going round and round in circles in your mind.
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Re: Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

Postby Ocdcod321 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:47 pm

Sorry it took me so long to reply, I've kind of been busy, but I appreciate you taking the time to reply, but this all started because when I masturbate, I have a tendency to act out the female moans, again I don't actually take the body of the female or anything like that, and I only do it when im not watching porn, but idk if I do it so I make the scenario feel more real or if it's actually autogynephilia, like you said its causing me to go in circles.
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Re: Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

Postby Snaga » Thu Mar 29, 2018 8:08 pm

Meh, a little autogynephilia never hurt anyone.....
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Re: Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

Postby Ocdcod321 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 8:26 pm

But that's the thing, I don't want this autogynephilia and if I ask myself deep down, I feel like I don't have it, I feel like this is different but my OCD is saying otherwise.
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Re: Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

Postby Snaga » Thu Mar 29, 2018 9:06 pm

If you get off on a little imagining being a hot girl, it's not the end of the world. It isn't it isn't it isn't, and it doesn't have to mean you're trans, it doesn't have to mean anything.
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Re: Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

Postby Ocdcod321 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 10:23 pm

But I don't actually imagine myself as a sexy woman, if I make a full conscious effort and imagine myself with a women's body, or even the moans I explained earlier, it's just feels wrong and weird and it doesn't arouse me at all, but when I'm masturbating, again the assumption is that I'm the guy, but for some reason I make the noises for the women, I guess to make more realistic, it's really hard to actually put it to words which makes this so frustrating
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Re: Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

Postby Snaga » Fri Mar 30, 2018 1:38 am

Are you checking, do you think?
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Re: Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

Postby Ocdcod321 » Fri Mar 30, 2018 1:42 am

I know I check, I imagine myself with a female body and check for desires to be female, all of the time it's a no, but ocd doesn't really care
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Re: Tocd need help (possible trigger warning)

Postby Snaga » Fri Mar 30, 2018 2:08 am

No, it doesn't. At some point I think you will need to try and let it go, and decide that you're not Trans, no matter what the thoughts say. That is what I had to do with my intrusive thoughts of intentionally harming others. Once I was able to not care what they told me, then they began to get better, and not have as much fear for me, when I do have them.
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