SO-OCD relapse?

Hello all, just got some stuff on my mind that I want to get off my chest as I usually find that posting on forums helps with anxiety.. Not necessarily to seek reassurance (only very partly, I know it's bad to do that but still), but laying out all my thoughts helps me calm, and it's helpful to seek advice. I'll try and keep it short (Emphasis on TRY).

There are two things that I believe have caused me to relapse, that I would like some advice on.
I've been mostly fine for the past couple of years, up until recently.
My last obsession occurred when I was in my last relationship. I got really paranoid after I started obsessing over my gf-at-the-time's sexual past.. It really affected my self-esteem and made me feel like I wasn't good or attractive enough for girls (probably what caused the SO-OCD in this first place).
When she eventually broke up with me (wasn't long after I started obsessing, but unsure whether it was one of the causes) I started to really work on my self esteem and my attractiveness, so being an obsessive anxiety driven mess, I naturally took to the internet in search of advice. I started going to the gym, bought self help books for confidence etc.
Now obviously looking on websites for male attractiveness and fitness, there are going to be a lot of pictures of attractive and well-built men.
Now I would look at the pictures, but only as a sort of comparison thing.. like that's what I want to look like, or that's what I want to be like.
Looking back, I now have the worry that I was looking at the pictures or at the more experienced gym goers because I was attracted or because they were arousing.. but they weren't.
Now when I go out to a club or pub with my friends, or if I'm out and about, I keep noticing attractive men. I'm pretty sure it's because I'm comparing myself to them, but obviously with anxiety, there's always the doubt that it's because I'm attracted to them.

The other worry (probably TMI) that I think caused the relapse is that I tend to have a problem with premature ejaculation. It's only usually when I have a new partner (makes one night stands pretty awkward).
Most likely it's just the anxiety of the situation, I can get erections fine, but it makes sex somewhat un-enjoyable. As a relationship goes on, I get more comfortable, can last longer and it feels great.
Most likely it is just a fear of being judged, or maybe some social anxiety, but I worry that the PE is because I'm a latent homosexual or something, which sounds a bit ridiculous, has a gay man ever had PE with a woman?
These are what I believe to have caused me to relapse, but I still feel like I'm in denial or something.
My relationships with women seem too complex and genuine for me to be gay.

I've fallen back into the old compulsions, checking porn and fantasies, masturbation, measuring erections etc. always getting results with women but it doesn't reassure me and I still have that nagging doubt.
Does it sound like OCD? Are these natural worries to be having?
I've also been going under a lot of stress regarding work and my family life, causing mild depression, could that also be a possible cause for a relapse? If it is a relapse at all and not a genuine realisation.
It sort of feels like I want to be gay, but it's like my thoughts say yes, but everything says no. Can SO-OCD do that?
I'm looking into seeing a doctor or counsellor, but I'm not sure if I should be looking into sorting out my mood, my obsessions, my self esteem, or my anxiety.