Hi all,
My OCD centers around molestation basically, fear that I molested someone, fear that others, notably my dad and brother molested me etc. I was abused by a cousin. The ones that suck most are the ones about my dad, because I have no memory of him doing anything to me, or my brother, however I still have the fear no matter how much reassurance I get from both of them. Sometimes I feel like "oh my god I'm going to accuse them of something and I can't help it even though I don't have any evidence".
Basically, the main thing that has been bothering me now is a memory I have of being in the pool with my dad and my friend from school when we were prob 12-13 years old. The weather was cold and my friend was shaking and didn't want to be in the pool. My dad, has always been the kind of person who never wants people to miss out so he was trying to get my friend to swim, and kind of got up into his face (wasn't that close to my recollection). Now I am wondering, if this was molestation? I have no recollection of anything weird or sexual happening, just that my dad was trying to coax this kid to swim. I also want to state that this memory is real (i have a lot of false memories) but I do notice my brain distorting it often and its almost as if I'm trying to prove something..does this sound like OCD? I know that my might be seeking reassurance. My dad said of course he would never hurt a child, and i brought it up to my psychiatrist who didn't make a big deal of it. I just want to know if anyone has had a similar thought or obsession or if anyone can provide some support or offer help in dealing with these thoughts. Thanks.