Coming out later in life stories *spike warning

I read an article in the New York Times about a married man that came out as gay. It caused me to wonder if I am gay and at 31 just living in denial. I spike when I see attractive guys and the thoughts I get don't seem that bad. I wonder if I am gay but ignoring my true feelings. Even though I've only been attracted to women and never had a desire to be with a man. Perhaps my OCD is playing tricks on me. I also think the accusations from family that I'm gay because I've never had a girlfriend and I'm not married come into play as well. Then again, there are gay men in lavender marriages.

The people who come out later in life don’t turn gay if that’s what you are asking. They were always gay, and more than likely always knew. The fact that you spike over it and get worried about being gay makes me think you aren’t. Also, when you say that the thoughts “aren’t that bad” do you mean your reaction to them isn’t immediate anxiety or that the thoughts themselves don’t seen horrible to you?

sickofbeinginvalid wrote:The people who come out later in life don’t turn gay if that’s what you are asking. They were always gay, and more than likely always knew. The fact that you spike over it and get worried about being gay makes me think you aren’t. Also, when you say that the thoughts “aren’t that bad” do you mean your reaction to them isn’t immediate anxiety or that the thoughts themselves don’t seen horrible to you?

I'm not to sure. I've "come out" 100 times but it always seems forced and doubtful. I don't suffer immediate anxiety like I did circa 2006-2007. However, my never having a girlfriend and dating a handful of times in my life always casts doubt that I'm straight. Then again, having a girlfriend or not having one doesn't determine sexual orientation.

mc1 wrote: I'm not to sure. I've "come out" 100 times but it always seems forced and doubtful. I don't suffer immediate anxiety like I did circa 2006-2007. However, my never having a girlfriend and dating a handful of times in my life always casts doubt that I'm straight. Then again, having a girlfriend or not having one doesn't determine sexual orientation.

If “ coming out” causes you doubt and feels forced, I doubt you are gay. When I came out as gay I felt so happy and relieved that I could be my true self.

sickofbeinginvalid wrote:

mc1 wrote: I'm not to sure. I've "come out" 100 times but it always seems forced and doubtful. I don't suffer immediate anxiety like I did circa 2006-2007. However, my never having a girlfriend and dating a handful of times in my life always casts doubt that I'm straight. Then again, having a girlfriend or not having one doesn't determine sexual orientation.

If “ coming out” causes you doubt and feels forced, I doubt you are gay. When I came out as gay I felt so happy and relieved that I could be my true self.

Yea I didn't feel relieved. It felt fake.

mc1 wrote: Yea I didn't feel relieved. It felt fake.

Then you aren’t gay...

Literally I wanted to come out so bad because I had a crush on a guy and all I could think about was being his boyfriend and pouncing on him.

Sadly he turned out straight and didn’t like me back

sickofbeinginvalid wrote:

mc1 wrote: Yea I didn't feel relieved. It felt fake.

Then you aren’t gay...

Literally I wanted to come out so bad because I had a crush on a guy and all I could think about was being his boyfriend and pouncing on him.

Sadly he turned out straight and didn’t like me back

Well I'm sorry the love was unrequited. I've never wanted to pounce on a guy. I've liked women since I was 5 or 6, although I didn't know was sexual orientation was. My HOCD hit me when I was 19 in May 2006. It hit me, although I experienced symptoms around February 2006. I couldn't look at guys if I found them nice looking and my attraction to women to lowered. It worsened August 2006 because I had a nice looking room mate and my brain kept telling me I had a crush on him. We didn't get along, but my mind told me "I don't get on with him because I'm crushing on him." It was weird, I always felt a pain when he was in the room.