Does this sound like ocd? I’m terrified

wsdNn wrote:i am scared right now. These weird feelings about my genital it freaks me out. Can ocd do even that? manipulate my feelings ? I am feeling like its not ocd and thinking about this 7/24 it drives me crazy

I get that genital feeling too and it scares me, I don't know if it is part of the OCD or true transsexualism.

I am really not coping well, I would rather be dead than dealing with this $#%^.

I would hate to be trans but I can't help it if I am, I just really really need help. I can't cope anymore.

Have you ever felt like this before? Or is it new for you. And how old are you

wsdNn wrote:Have you ever felt like this before? Or is it new for you. And how old are you

I'm 25, it started about 5 years ago when I TRIED ON A SPICE GIRLS COSTUME IN MY BEDROOM.

I bought it for a party where me and my friends were going as Spice Girls FOR A JOKE.

I put it on and then danced around a bit then thought it was weird so took it off.

Over the next week I had two whirring sensations where I thought "why did I do that? does it mean I am transgender?"

Then about a week later I had a FULL ON MELTDOWN and my world FELL APART. The thought "I am transgender" popped into my head and I was full of anxiety.

Before that, I was happy being seen as male and manly.

Since then it has been an ongoing battle and it is destroying me!!!!!!!!!

FreshGuy wrote:does it mean I am transgender?"

Plenty of crossdressers that are anything but trans....

Snaga wrote:

FreshGuy wrote:does it mean I am transgender?"

Plenty of crossdressers that are anything but trans....

Yeah but I get an uncomfortable feeling sometimes when I see my genitals and in the last few days I have been feeling uncomfortable in my clothes and that I am dressed like a homeless person as I have just been wearing tracksuit trousers and hoodies and fleeces and things so then I think maybe I am uncomfortable cos I am trans.

Also I have multiple mental illnesses (OCD, mixed anxiety and depressive disorder, binge eating disorder), maybe they are all caused by my gender identity not matching up wirth my gender presentation and body.

I am just really confused, I don't really want to be trans but maybe I am.

I have been reviewing some of my older posts and things on a few forums and I first started dealing with this 6 years ago!!!

Also I do get other intrusions but none as severe as my TOCD but my therapist said everyone gets intrusive thoughts once in a while so I could just be a transgender female that has regular intrusive thoughts.

I get paedophile thoughts at least once a day, sometimes multiple times.

I also get other intrusive thoughts, every once in a while, like being sexually attracted to my parents, killing people and things

Also sometimes I don't know what is my OCD and what is my thoughts that I actually want.

How am I supposed to cope when I don't know the truth?

If I am trans then I need to transition so I will have to freeze my sperm or donate to another couple so I can have genetic kids as trans people who medically tranisiton lose their fertility

Also I have been feeling uncomfortable about having an adams apple because if I am trans then it won't be good so I have been feeling anxious but when I looked in a mirror I couldn't see it cos I think my fat is covering it up.

However if I am not trans (wahoo) then none of that stuff matters and I can stay as a cis male.

Also about a week or two ago, I was walking down a road and some transsexual names for myself came into my head, I didn't consciously try to think it but it just came into my head so I tried not to react to it and let the thoughts happen

I have been really struggling, maybe I just don't accept being trans but I don't want to be it, I want to be cis but a lot of what I have typed makes me sound like a true transsexual so I dunno.

I just want to get rid of this obsessing and move on with my life.

It sounds like me. I look my genital and it feels weird. But i dont want to be woman. This weird feelings i get when i look my genital, it bothers me so much. I want to get rid of these feelings and want to feel like man again. I am 18 by the way and i had never feel like this before. Makes me suicidal also ( i had illnes ocd and hocd before but tocd is the worst becase it feels like i am not myself anymore...

Hey wsdNn and FreshGuy, what both of you wrote is kinda similar to my experience, I had intrusive thoughts about other themes such as hurting other people or not being gay (I am actually gay btw) but tocd is this far the worst one of the obsessions, it’s making me doubt the person I am today and I even feel like I could find some kind of proof in my childhood that it might be true. It’s freaking me out so much. About what FreshGuy said: the fact that you listed so many different mental health problems that affect you makes me think that you are not trans at all, it’s just your mind playing games with you

I am sure just about one thing. I am not doubting about feeling like man. Becuase i always feel like man and never wanted to be woman, not in my childhood or now. And this is the last thing that keeps me alive. But our brains are so complex i think becuase. I remember about my ALS obsessions and it was crazy too. I read about ALS about 2 years ago and i saw symptoms and suddenly told myself -do i have these symptoms- and got stressed next day i had all the symptoms like my muscles were twitching all the time and i was testing myself by holding cup of tea and trying to lift it and it felt like i couldnt even lift a cup of tea and i thought i was losing my muscles because of ALS but when i forhet about it after 2 weeks ago these symptoms were gone too but my illness obsessions was not horrible as my hocd or tocd
I mean my brains have that power. Manipulate our feelings and thoghts about ourselves. And we should not obsess over it but i know it feels just real AF and you can not decide what is real and what is not

I think gender fluidity is a total mythof radical-feminist movement so as fem. psychologists
therapists aswell. They really losing their nuts for the last 5 years.
People who are transgernder are transgender since the day they can remember themselves. They are people born in wrong bodies and there's a biological evidence to support that) And if thoughts bothering you and you are disgusted my them...it's just thoughts.
Just remember 1 thing...when you haven't had these thoughts you were happy people, that's means there'so no sign of trasngender in u. And if thoughts of becoming a woman is worse than death, then it's for sure OCD. Peace.

Dude i think you did not understad the way ocd works. Ocd can create false memories and it did when i had hocd i remebered a memory that i wanted to have sex with my bestfriend and like this it can create false memories about being transgender people with tocd also thinks that they were always trans secretly and they did not realize it i also think like that my brain always goes for a proof that i am trans and i am searching for proof that i am not trans and we are fighting in my mind all day long but its not a fair fight because brain has the ability of controling emotions and thoughts also feelings and it scares me i know that i am not trans becuse i never wanted to be woman even when i learned that my cousin was trans 7 months ago but ocd kills you and manipulates you its the worst torture ever because nobody can solve this except you people can just support but you are alone...