Was this OCD or something similar?

Hello! A little over a year ago, I experienced a lot of intrusive thoughts that lasted for a long period of time. Nowadays, I'm awfully worried that similar thoughts might come back in the future. Anyways, here's my story:

So back before the summer that it all started, I constantly was getting hooked on thoughts that I didn't particularly like. I had gotten hooked on the thought that I had the black death, rabies, and that I was gay. But I wouldn't really call these thoughts that repetitive. But then, when summer hit, things started getting bad. I used to be religious back then and it meant the world to me but my head just like?? Forced me to start a prayer and start saying terrible things to god. I was scared of that. It wouldn't stop.

Then, after I expressed my concern to my dad, he just said that it was just "The devil trying to get into my head." That triggered something entirely new. It was worse than the old dare I say obsession (Sorry I sound presumptuous by using more proper terms haha.) The words "Dear Satan" just kept on popping into my head. I was immediately convinced I was going to hell.

I was stuck in a cycle of having this intrusive thought and then I would have a little prayer I would recite to try and cancel it out. That would make me feel better for a very short amount of time. And then it would come back. And to prevent getting the thought, I would avoid the occult and church. It didn't really work. I was so afraid and anxious all the time. It felt like I was going mad. It gave me nightmares and I could barely sleep. Though, I could still perform decently in school.

But then, it just stopped after about a year. Poof. Gone. It felt great. (I soon after gave up on religion) But now as I'm sitting here, contemplating the event that took place and I was wondering if I really was going mad back then. I decided to research for myself and learned about OCD. I found it kinda similar to what I experienced, except that I never really had a physical compulsion. (And how short it lasted) I was back to square one until I found out about Pure O. I immediately related to practically everything. It all made sense.

But I wanna refrain from calling it that until I know for sure. That's why I'm here.
On a side note, if that was indeed OCD- will it ever return? Thanks.

Hey there and welcome to the forums!

We can't diagnose other members on here, but it certainly sounds as if you might have some OCD traits. I used to have a lot of religious-based intrusive thoughts, partly as a result of having a lot of thoughts aimed towards harming others- I began to think demons were oppressing me, and that led into worries about blasphemy, the infamous 'unforgivable' sin, etc.

This might have been a one-off thing, if you don't have a long history of it. Were you undergoing an otherwise stressful time, when you were having the different themed obsessions?

Over the years (decades) my intrusive thoughts have come and gone, sometimes I have had periods of little problem with them, sometimes worse. For me, OCD tends to flavour anything I might be going thru, any kind of issues, it's gonna try to make them worse.

Hopefully you won't have recurrent problems but anxiety can be pretty insidious.