Just wanted to give an update on my current OCD theme. And to give hope to anyone who may be struggling with this now. It’s been a few weeks now that i’ve been struggling with POCD. (OCD for a few years now). It’s all hit me — the intrusive thoughts, gronial responses, false attraction, checking, compulsions, and obsessing. I find myself slowly finding my way out of this. I feel happier, i’m eating normally again, and i’m worrying less. Obviously, I know I am NOT a pedophile. A pedophile is someone who has a SEXUAL attraction to children. Do I? No. Do you? Probably not. Though I was convinced I was somehow, that I was and anyone who deals with POCD probably does. Though we know we aren’t, our OCD keeps saying “maybe you are, you’re just in denial”, which leads to checking and blah blah blah. I began to realize how stupid I sounded thinking I was sexually attracted to any child. I always think of the fact that I never have sexually fantasized of children. That just isn’t me. Don’t check for attraction. Don’t google. Don’t obsess. I found myself in public scanning people — seeing if I was attracted, though this just made it feel even more real. Because the things you fear, you will notice more of, and start to analyze them. When I saw a cute or adorable kid, I began misinterpreting my feelings thinking I was sexually attracted or aroused by them, when in reality... I wasn’t.
It’s been a rough three weeks and I know this was probably short time as I know a lot of people go through this for years, but I just wanted to share that I finally feel this is subsiding. I stopped looking, checking for attraction compulsively, googling articles. I stopped those compulsions, and it really does help to not read those things because you latch onto things and start believing them. Stop checking, stop looking for reassurance, stop googling, because I can tell you from my experiences, it’s only going to make you feel worse.
All best, and prayers to everyone dealing with any theme of OCD.
