Someone please help me

Well right now all my attractions for guys is gone and I feel like it’s been replaced with girls. And I feel like I got turned on by the barbies and then made out with the guy ones.

I’m not trying to reassure myself, but I don’t recall having any girl crushes. But I have always been sort of awkward when it comes to being gay. I honestly can’t tell if it’s hocd anymore

So I just watched a triggering video that made me realise how sexuality works and how you know you are gay or bi, a video by Keara Graves titles “how I knew I was bisexual”. I realised that I do have some sort of attraction to girls and their bodies, but I’m not romantically attracted and don’t necessarily want to date one. I am romantically attracted to guys but don’t get attracted much physically. I feel like I have had a crush on a girl, like when I fell off my bike and she cane and helped me when I was little, but I don’t think it was anything serious. Maybe I just admired her.

I remember always being sensitive to the LGBTQ topic, and would try to ignore it at all costs. Of course I still freak out about hocd and if I have it, but I will show you how I came across hocd. I was searching “I think I’m gay but I don’t want to be” from when I was about 10. I have always had very serious crushes on guys too. I also am very paranoid about everything I have realised lately so maybe that’s part of it. Any help?

I feel like regardless of all this I’m gay or bi. I do have some attraction to guys but not a lot!!!!! I don’t know what to do. I

I am romantically and sexually attracted to guys, but not romantically attracted to women. Could this maybe be a situation where you ever aren't say 50/50 bi but rather something like 30/70 bi? Another thought...perhaps subconsciously you fear of having to start such a huge journey of learning how all of it works be it as a relationship, telling others, sex etc.

The thing is, I can’t accept that!! That literally just brought me to tears!!!!! Because I never thought that I would be bi. I was fine with the idea of being bi before because I can still like guys, however now I think about it I don’t want it!! I hate the thought of girls private parts and that kind of thing. I have heard that girls are a little bit bi and do get some girl crushes here and there, but what’s the difference between attraction and admiration?

-- Tue Jan 09, 2018 10:35 am --

I feel like I have always seen like girls kissing and hated it because I live with a homophobic family. I mean I have a lot of friends who are gay and bi, and support them now, but I feel like I am too and I hate it. I mean if course girls bodies are gorgeous, but I don’t want to act upon that. How is your attraction to each gender being bi? Because I’m just worried that because I don’t get instantly attrcated to a guy, and I see a girl and think she’s pretty mean something?

I feel now as if I have liked girls my whole life. I just really don’t think I want to date one. I also used to do dress up games online, but try to find naked girls ones and hope that I would try and find guys occasionally. I mean I don’t feel that way now, but I feel as if it proves something. I know I likes guys. I’m comfortable with that idea. I don’t like the guys who think they are so cool, or the guys with the best abs and faces. I like guys with personality. I’m just not sure if that is the same for girls.

I could be bi, I could be straight, and I could even be gay. But I’m not gonna know for a while and maybe that’s a good thing. I just need to focus on my studies.

Also. People have said that they know that they have hocd because they have never questioned their sexuality. I mean I haven’t really either, however I have seen and heard gay couple on tv shows and seeing two girl kiss just kinda wasn’t my thing. I’m just confused because girls are gorgeous and maybe there’s a chance it’s bi 15/85. I just hope I get throughit

Honestly it sounds like a fear that your family might reject you, so you "hate" certain things about attraction to women to turn yourself off from them and protect your relationship with your family. I feel that could've happened to me if I hadn't already wanted nothing to do with my family. My family is homophobic. I have never told my parents I'm bi. My mom kinda figured it out at one point, and sat me down saying "It's ok if you're gay, but don't ever bring her home for Christmas, because we'll have to disown you."

Like gee thanks mom.

The majority of people who treated me poorly (to often the point of extreme abuse) were women, so I believe that's why I can't get romantically into women. The only guy who ever treated me badly was my ex, and after meeting his mother I quickly figured out why he acted the ways he did.

Ireallyneedhelp27277 wrote: How is your attraction to each gender being bi? Because I’m just worried that because I don’t get instantly attrcated to a guy, and I see a girl and think she’s pretty mean something?

When I was younger I often thought of fantasies of guys that involved other women I found attractive. That or how I could emulate their characteristics as my own. My overly christian community taught me that there was only gay or straight. I didn't know what bisexual was until I was near 20 years old. Any time I found a girl/woman attractive, I'd watch them thinking that I must be "learning how they're attractive to use for myself" when I was in fact oggling. For instance there is no way that I could pull off the look of being a redhead, but I still extensively "studied" one of my teacher's assistants growing up who had natural, long, red hair.

Ireallyneedhelp27277 wrote:I feel now as if I have liked girls my whole life. I just really don’t think I want to date one. I also used to do dress up games online, but try to find naked girls ones and hope that I would try and find guys occasionally. I mean I don’t feel that way now, but I feel as if it proves something. I know I likes guys. I’m comfortable with that idea. I don’t like the guys who think they are so cool, or the guys with the best abs and faces. I like guys with personality. I’m just not sure if that is the same for girls.

Like I said, I'm totally aware that I have insecurity issues with women. I don't look for personality, and frankly the women I know that I get along with rarely ever attract me. There's one woman I know who happened to hit both sexually and personality with me. She happens to act almost exactly like me, but slightly younger. I don't believe it's narcissism so much as comfort of knowing how she thinks. She looks nothing like me.

With guys, I'm the same as you. However I tend to fantasize about men way more than women by a long shot. Women to me are safe in the fact that I can't get pregnant, great because women tend to know how other women's bodies work (so the sex is usually better), and sure I'm attracted to them physically too.

I could be bi, I could be straight, and I could even be gay. But I’m not gonna know for a while and maybe that’s a good thing. I just need to focus on my studies.

I highly doubt you're gay, perhaps bi or straight, but not anywhere near 100% homosexual.

Also. People have said that they know that they have hocd because they have never questioned their sexuality. I mean I haven’t really either, however I have seen and heard gay couple on tv shows and seeing two girl kiss just kinda wasn’t my thing. I’m just confused because girls are gorgeous and maybe there’s a chance it’s bi 15/85. I just hope I get throughit

And this is entirely possible as well. Even still, I wouldn't worry about being attracted to them, or considering a relationship or whatever. You're obviously more into guys anyway, so no point in going into a relationship to test with a woman, if you already feel "ick" about it. All it would do is be traumatic for you, and cause hurt feelings and wasted time. I think it's best to at most think of the the occasional looking at women as foreplay for what you'd like to do with men, rather than seeing it and worrying about lusting after the one you're looking at.

Thank you so much for all your help.

I’m honestly just scared. I’m scared to lose attraction to guys who I have had crushes on in the past. I’m scared to date a man in the future because maybe I won’t like it because right now I’m not attracted to men, only young adults and teens because I’m 14. I feel like this behaviour is happening too because this generation has lost it. I’m not one of those girls who posts pictures in bikinis with my butt showing, I don’t wear skimpy things out in public to impress a guy, I don’t go to parties and drink, and I most certainly do not go and “do it” with a guy just to make me look popular. Which is what most girls my age are doing at my school. I honestly act more like a 10 year old. I’m afraid of pretty much everything. I think that I do have general ocd to. I obsess over everything and my mum can see it.

All these thoughts just make me so anxious. But I can’t lie to myself. Maybe I’m not used to seeing half naked pictures of girls on social media. Or maybe I admire their physical appearance. I don’t know but I just want to cry

Ireallyneedhelp27277 wrote:I’m scared to lose attraction to guys who I have had crushes on in the past. I’m scared to date a man in the future because maybe I won’t like it because right now I’m not attracted to men, only young adults and teens because I’m 14.

Oooookay. Yeah don't worry about that. As you get older you'll be attracted to older guys too.

I feel like this behaviour is happening too because this generation has lost it. I’m not one of those girls who posts pictures in bikinis with my butt showing, I don’t wear skimpy things out in public to impress a guy, I don’t go to parties and drink, and I most certainly do not go and “do it” with a guy just to make me look popular. Which is what most girls my age are doing at my school. I honestly act more like a 10 year old.

Congrats on not needing people to validate your appearance by forcing yourself on their gaze!

I’m afraid of pretty much everything. I think that I do have general ocd to. I obsess over everything and my mum can see it.

All I read was you're a teen. Been there hon.

All these thoughts just make me so anxious. But I can’t lie to myself. Maybe I’m not used to seeing half naked pictures of girls on social media. Or maybe I admire their physical appearance. I don’t know but I just want to cry

Reread what I said. Even if you are a tiny bit attracted, you aren't emotionally ready for a relationship, nor are you attracted enough to continue long term with the same sex. You won't lose attraction to guys. The only thing close it can be is, like I said, loss of libido. That isn't the same thing, and will come back.

So what do I do now? I’m probably going to an all girls high school this year??!? I’m so scared. And I’m sorry if I’m wasting your time I just don’t know what to do