Intimacy and HOCD

Lately my hocd is really affecting my relationship with my bf of 3 years. Since this really hit again in March, intimacy hasn't really been the same. I question everything about our relationship, which has caused me to go kind of numb.

The worst by far is centered around kissing and sex. I don't really feel much of anything when I kiss him. I don't expect there to be butterflies anymore, as the honeymoon period is over. But surely I should feel something right? It doesn't help that I often get thoughts and feelings like "I want to kiss her" when I see an attractive woman.

Needless to say, I rarely want sex anymore. My libido is probably in the negatives and I feel bad about it, as it really makes me question my desire and if all these thoughts are actually real.

I really don't know what to think, I just feel numb and like I'm lying to myself and everyone around me...

Hey there G287. We've been through a lot but this is still a mental issue. If you ruminate on the thoughts it will make things worse. We're going to find people of the same sex attractive, everyone does. However, our mind obsesses over a brief thought and turns it into this cataclysmic shift in our life.

You and your BF will have your ups and downs. Relationships are marked by highs and lows. However, a lull in intimacy doesn't mean you're a lesbian. It just means a lull in intimacy. For example, a person can make a bad grade in school, but that doesn't mean they're stupid. I made a failing grade on a math quiz on a math quiz in 7th grade in 2000, but that doesn't define my intelligence. The same applies to your situation. This is a mental issue and seeking reassurance will only make the obsession stronger.