Hey everybody. I have been suffering with OCD as long as I can remember. When I was young I had graphic and intrusive thoughts constantly popping into my head. And I prayed all day, did the mental ruminations and compulsive arguing, suppresing till they got even worse. But somehow OCD spared me the pain and left me for a while.
But this was for a short time and soon it returned in my late teens with HOCD thoughts and repulsive sexual images. I got over HOCD somehow probabky because my CD traded it for Existential OCD and then later to Schizo OCD.
The theme that I have now is probably the worst and that is Pedophile OCD more like Ephebhophillia to be precise because I am pretty sure I am not a pedophile. But I started going through my porn history impulsively to see if I had not seen anything extreme of sort. I didnt. I did watch a lot of teen porn but I am 20 myself, and they were all older than me, just enacting as teens. But I did come across where the girl looked quite young, but she is a famous star and she is actually 22. But I was turned on by her and she was dressed like a teen. But OCD is making me believe I am a pedo for being turned on by her. What do you think? I do have a porn addiction history and I am trying hard to overcome it but otherwise I have never been attracted to any one younger. I also noticed that I am losing attraction to girls of my age.