ROCD - Real or Imagined? Hoping somebody can relate.

I've entered a new relationship and things have been going great, however as we've gotten closer I've gotten these nagging thoughts in my head that I should tell her things about my past. I do have some weird things in the past, but nothing I feel affects us directly and they are things I'd really rather not talk about and leave in the past.

But the thoughts I have say that I won't be a good boyfriend until I tell her everything about me and everything I've done. Part of me feels like this is a trap, because once I tell her one thing, I will feel good for awhile and then something else will pop up in my head and cause distress, until I'm telling her about the time that I took too many french fries from a friend in 2nd grade.

It's just driving me crazy, because I actually love this girl and want to be with her and do the right things, but I feel like maybe my OCD is feeding on that and using examples from my past to give it power.

Does that make sense? Has anybody else gone through this?

What you are going through now is basically a "mental compulsion" as the cycle of OCD represents, you have the thought, you neutralize the behavior, then the loop repeats. Every human being has done something they regret, some things large, others not much of a big deal "like the french fries example".

Being a good boyfriend is based on what you do now, not what you did. Actions define a person not their thoughts. The more you give into the compulsion of telling her small regrets from the past that are no longer relevant to you, the stronger it gets and the more you will feel to do so. I have gone through this before, but with a different scenario. As most answers with OCD you basically have to do the opposite of what the compulsion wants, this gives it less power and forces it to slowly deplete, dont fight these thoughts, let them come to your mind and just remember its what you do now that matters not what you did in the past, try approaching it with that mindset, your welcome to message me if you need any help.