facial OCD/BDD maybe?

hey guys, i'm new to this forum board although i have come across it a lot (i'm in school but i am so desperate that i had to post now)

so i have OCD diagnosed. this is something i definitely have, and recently my OCD has been transforming into something else - well, it's already transformed. that is i think it may be BDD. BDD is very closely linked to OCD and have been known to be comorbid a lot, so i think the fact i have OCD may hint that i also have BDD. seems to be the same type of brain

anyway, a lot of my obsessions have been based on intrusive thoughts about harming loved ones or them getting harmed so they've been really distressing. they really disgust me because it makes me feel like a morally awful person.
another one of my obsessions which is a bit more triggering is based on existence which i prefer not to go into too much detail right now. both of these are currently very low and are not what is currently on my mind. like, i've 95% gotten over these obsessions.

however now that i have almost gotten over those obsessions, i think my new obsession is coming on - that is my face. it's awful, absolutely awful, because this is how people see you. it's how you're remembered and recognised. when people think of you, they think of your face.

unfortunately for me, i was not blessed by genetics. my whole family seems to be very nice looking and normal looking, but me? i seem to have gotten the absolutely awful facial genetics. mind you, i've never felt pretty - i know for a fact that i'm not pretty at all. i'm ugly. i know this, i have since i was 5. it's just my face lately has really been bothering me so much more, the past couple of months i've been locking myself in toilets and rooms so that nobody could see me, crying myself to sleep at night, constantly checking mirrors or completely avoiding them altogether. it has also been causing me social issues as i have been avoiding my friends and it's caused me to distance from them a bit. it's really sad.

something that really makes it flare up is just when i see people in general, so it really gets to me as i have no choice in that. everyone sees people everyday, it's not something you can choose to do. i'm so shy and embarrassed because of my face. i know i'm ugly because a lot of people have rated me 3/10 and i have been bullied for how i look. i have also been very invisible so that also says i'm not the best looking. i think this is my new obsession, i think about it a lot all day. my face is so bad. help me

From what i see my guess is your suffering with OCD and you are obsessing over your self image. OCD puts you through cycles based on the condition of your anxiety, if this makes it clear, think of your OCD as a protection system in your mind example:

1. You have a thought of self harm/family and you do what you can to remove the thought by performing another ritualistic behavior either in your mind or a physical behavior.
2. Your mind feels satisfied by this because unconsciously its "keeping you safe" when it really isn't.

So your mind is basically trying to find a new relief buffer/obsession to "keep you safe" as you now have grown a new obsession, this isn't a permanent cycle, you have the power to break it.
In terms of your self image, despite any condition everybody from time to time has doubt over their self image. The difference is this thought passes, OCD makes it stuck in a net, and it grows on you and you begin to dwell/obsess over it. The best way to deal with this obsession is fighting it back with logic and reality.

You said to yourself "your even afraid to see your friends" you have friends in the first place, they respect you for who you are and there is no need to hide from that. People with a social phobia have this idea of the world staring at them, when it reality and im not saying this out of being careless/rude the world doesn't really care, they are all living their lives aswell, and just remember you have people around you that care for you and friends that care, if your friends judge you for your appearance then they aren't friends, but judging from what you said they don't do that. your image doesn't define you, but this also is your OCD getting its claws into you because its something that bothers you.