will the arousal ever go away?

hi. so i've been reading articles and watching videos about how to get rid of hocd and a lot of it seems to revolve around "accepting the thoughts". thing is, in one of those articles they talked about how some straight people have attraction for penises. then i googled it and saw that many people didn't get aroused by men but did get aroused by penises individually. this freaked me out because during these hocd years my biggest obsession was being aroused by erect penises and that's why most of my tests were looking at pictures or videos of specifically that. it got to the point where i'm aroused by my own penis and tested myself some times by looking at it on the mirror. i had never orgasmed looking at d*cks, even though i had that "feeling" of arousal, but today i tested watching a video and i did orgasm and now i'm panicking and wishing death.

but the thing is, i DON'T want to be aroused by that. being aroused by that disgusts me, and I don't think people who get aroused by penises individually are even straight. and i'm afraid that by accepting the thoughts, the arousal won't go away. honestly i rather die than have a "penis fetish". you have no idea, i hate that idea so much, i rather die.

so my question is, if i do "accept the thoughts", will the arousal be over eventually?

anyone? please i'm so depressed

I think it's pretty normal to have some fascination with penises, considering you have one....

I think I recently read that a large number of straight guys to look at penises when they're watching porn- I mean, it's part of sex, when it comes to straight porn, someone's gotta have one, right?

As for 'accepting the thoughts'... I think something about that concept gets lost in the translation. I've had a long history with intentional harm intrusive thoughts (thoughts I will kill someone close to me, or a pet, usually) and I'm certainly not going to accept the concept that I'm going to get up and kill the person next to me! What I see as 'accepting the thoughts'- is don't fight them.

DO NOT THINK OF AN ELEPHANT

You thought of an elephant, didn't you?

Pointless for me to resist those harm thoughts- the more I try NOT to think about it, the more it's gonna happen. For me, 'accepting the thought' just means let it be... but I willfully ignore it- I don't accept the premise or the outcome or worry that I might do something terrible- Thoughts come, thoughts go, thoughts persist in staying- but thoughts that aren't put into action or word die unborn. It's like waves at the beach- you can try and resist it and get swept off your feet, or you can ride the swell and then it's past you. To me- that's 'accpeting the thoughts'. It's just letting them pass thru my head and then they go away.

Checking is bad- porn checking to SEE if you get arousal is bad- first, it's sex, even if it's not the sex you're into, sex is sex and I've heard people can and do feel some arousal when seeing a sexual situation. Also it seems that when people check, that they set themselves up. I don't know if it's false attraction, or if it's being hyper-aware of every bodily response- but people tend to find what they're looking for. If you look for monsters in every dark corner, you tend to see them.

You have to go by how you felt before you started worrying about this- I'm Bi, and I've always liked penises and vaginas. That's what I go by, whenever my OCD makes me waffle on what I am.

first of all, thanks for replying. it means a lot.

secondly, most of the articles they write really feel like "your arousal is real, you don't have to fight it, you have to fight the anxiety it brings" which i don't know if saddens or angers me. i mean, if someone has POCD, are they just supposed to accept the arousal they feel when masturbating to children? even if they're not pedophiles (they won't act on it), do they have to accept that they do feel aroused by that and try to be comfortable with that? and that it would be like that for the REST of their lives?

honestly this is just cruel. i don't want to "accept" the arousals, i hate them. i hate them so much, i just want things back to normal. i don't want to look at my own penis and be attracted to it. i don't want to be attracted by my brothers anymore. i just want to never feel this again. and when i read these articles it's like they're saying it will never end and that i have to just get over it. a part of me really wishes i'm not interpreting them correctly, and that the ocd can "fabricate" these arousals.

I know from anecdotal experience that there is fake attractions in the sexual OCDs, but I don't have firsthand experience with that. But it doesn't make sense to me, what you say you've read. If you HAVE attraction, real, would do it if you could, attraction to penises, then you're not straight.

Then it wouldn't be HOCD. But there IS HOCD.

qwerty123qwe wrote:i don't want to look at my own penis and be attracted to it.

Why not? It's yours. Now, see? To me that's OCD talking. You're supposed to be repulsed by your own body parts?