Spike when I hear the word girlfriend

jdd wrote:I don't think you offended me, and I didn't see anything in there that would be offensive to others either!

You seem to have a compassion for understanding it at least. Some people don't and think we're in denial.

Thanks for the POV at least. ^_^;

I don't believe it's a good enough argument to say people with hocd are in denial unless maybe they came from a background laced in homophobia. Even then I feel bullying people into a sexual preference is unacceptable.

It doesn't make sense to me why a person who is gay would be anxious over being that way unless there were people in their lives who might make them anxious about it.

Possible TW

For instance, my family is religious. My mom had thoughts I might be gay and told me I'd be disowned if I brought a girlfriend home. The real kicker for me is she grew up outside of San Francisco.

I've never told my family that I've been with women, but I'm also not at all anxious over it. I wasn't even when I lived with a woman who my mom politely pretended was only my roommate.

So yeah I don't know what causes hocd, but either way I feel bad for those who do knowing how bad my own intrusive thoughts can be.

She knows I have OCD but not HOCD. I think she would think I was gay based on my lack of relationships which wouldn't help.

I just wish the spiking would stop when I see a nice looking fellow.

Holodeck wrote:I don't believe it's a good enough argument to say people with hocd are in denial unless maybe they came from a background laced in homophobia. Even then I feel bullying people into a sexual preference is unacceptable.

People with HOCD can also be homohphobic, and still not be in denial. This popular theory that homophobes are in denial is simply not accurate, and mostly coincidental when they are. IMHO internalized *phobias don't exist.

And yes, I do believe pressuring people or bullying people into being a preference is unacceptable but unfortunately this is what happens in today's culture and it gets brushed off as trying to help or some joke, or even faux acceptance therapy. Sadly some of the worst offenders of this come from the LGBT community itself (that I've noticed anyway) because they tend to only think one way and not very open minded to the possibility that sexuality isn't quite the way that they think.

mc1 wrote:She knows I have OCD but not HOCD. I think she would think I was gay based on my lack of relationships which wouldn't help.

I just wish the spiking would stop when I see a nice looking fellow.

If this happens all/almost all the time I think it is likely to be OCD related and not something else. Nobody is attracted to or spiked by all members of one sex on a regular basis all the time, every day doing usual life things.

Thank you for explaining a bit more in detail. What you said is of course rather obvious to realize an hocd person could have issues that way, but people who don't have it might not even consider certain things like that being the case.

Side note: going back to the first page and seeing other posts... Snaga, you really seem to like the word titillating to describe what you feel is sexual excitement lol. To be honest, I think the line could easily blur between genuine excitement and conditioned response for some people. Trusting your genitals as final proof is never going to give you a best answer imo.

jdd wrote:

Holodeck wrote:I don't believe it's a good enough argument to say people with hocd are in denial unless maybe they came from a background laced in homophobia. Even then I feel bullying people into a sexual preference is unacceptable.

People with HOCD can also be homohphobic, and still not be in denial. This popular theory that homophobes are in denial is simply not accurate, and mostly coincidental when they are. IMHO internalized *phobias don't exist.

And yes, I do believe pressuring people or bullying people into being a preference is unacceptable but unfortunately this is what happens in today's culture and it gets brushed off as trying to help or some joke, or even faux acceptance therapy. Sadly some of the worst offenders of this come from the LGBT community itself (that I've noticed anyway) because they tend to only think one way and not very open minded to the possibility that sexuality isn't quite the way that they think.

mc1 wrote:She knows I have OCD but not HOCD. I think she would think I was gay based on my lack of relationships which wouldn't help.

I just wish the spiking would stop when I see a nice looking fellow.

If this happens all/almost all the time I think it is likely to be OCD related and not something else. Nobody is attracted to or spiked by all members of one sex on a regular basis all the time, every day doing usual life things.

It's just certain particular dudes, though it's not a crush (I don't think). I've never been sexually attracted to a guy, only women. However, I get an uneasy feeling when I look at certain dudes. Of course HOCD calls it a crush, but it's not a pleasant feeling. I've had this for 11 years but it was worse at the beginning. I've never tried to date men or anything like that, it's just never crossed my mind.

Holodeck, another way to look at it is this: replace gay/straight/bi/etc with pedo. Absolutely nobody would tell you that you should just be it. This is because it's generally conditioned in people that this is even worse than being gay or a murderer. It shows a bias, which most don't acknowledge.

-- Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:15 pm --

mc1 wrote:

jdd wrote:

Holodeck wrote:I don't believe it's a good enough argument to say people with hocd are in denial unless maybe they came from a background laced in homophobia. Even then I feel bullying people into a sexual preference is unacceptable.

People with HOCD can also be homohphobic, and still not be in denial. This popular theory that homophobes are in denial is simply not accurate, and mostly coincidental when they are. IMHO internalized *phobias don't exist.

And yes, I do believe pressuring people or bullying people into being a preference is unacceptable but unfortunately this is what happens in today's culture and it gets brushed off as trying to help or some joke, or even faux acceptance therapy. Sadly some of the worst offenders of this come from the LGBT community itself (that I've noticed anyway) because they tend to only think one way and not very open minded to the possibility that sexuality isn't quite the way that they think.

mc1 wrote:She knows I have OCD but not HOCD. I think she would think I was gay based on my lack of relationships which wouldn't help.

I just wish the spiking would stop when I see a nice looking fellow.

If this happens all/almost all the time I think it is likely to be OCD related and not something else. Nobody is attracted to or spiked by all members of one sex on a regular basis all the time, every day doing usual life things.

It's just certain particular dudes, though it's not a crush (I don't think). I've never been sexually attracted to a guy, only women. However, I get an uneasy feeling when I look at certain dudes. Of course HOCD calls it a crush, but it's not a pleasant feeling. I've had this for 11 years but it was worse at the beginning. I've never tried to date men or anything like that, it's just never crossed my mind.

It's still hocd. for some people it latches on to certain types. Others it appears as just all people of the sex you don't want. 11 years is a long time. I've had it over 2.5 and I'm feeling like I'm just not OCD anymore it's just that real feeling for me. I have not been able to find a solution or proper therapy yet either.

jdd wrote:Holodeck, another way to look at it is this: replace gay/straight/bi/etc with pedo. Absolutely nobody would tell you that you should just be it. This is because it's generally conditioned in people that this is even worse than being gay or a murderer. It shows a bias, which most don't acknowledge.

I'm able to typically write off those thoughts with "I'm not that way, but the way the underaged character in an anime is portrayed" or some such. Gonna have to go with that example, because I'm basically a hermit for the most part (due to schizoid pd, not OCD). Most of my OCD is triggered by reminders of trauma, my own thoughts, or media. I've always been a homebody (sheltered as a kid), so though I have been around people...intrusive thoughts and others tend to be limited to "they probably think I'm not expressing myself properly, because I don't have much human interaction experience."

My OCD is often coupled with my bipolar I delusions. I was diagnosed as Pure O as a kid, but a good chunk of it is my mood disorder coupled with OCD. So if for instance I'm feeling low, I won't want to handle any objects that might hurt me though I've never done self harm. I'll get racing thoughts of horrible self harm that usually isn't even possible, or paranoid thoughts that I'll die a horrible death if I don't count a certain number of times (or something to that regard). I've never been suicidal btw. That is simply one of the many themes for me.

What you say does make sense to though even if I don't quite relate.

That happens to me too. I was on Tumblr and a blogger I really admire and like reading their stuff said she has a massive crush on this girl started making me think that I was gay??? Like literally if another homosexual person says they like someone I just start thinking that makes me homosexual too? Someone who is bi was talking to me asking for advice about a girl they like and I literally cannot tell you how weird I felt talking to them because the whole time I unconsciously kept applying it myself and thinking that might happen to me in the future... it feels like a sign from the universe or something. I get you but seriously it doest mean anything. Just let the thought or feeling be. It goes away on its own eventually.