Bad carbon monoxide scare last night

I suffered from really bad hypochondria from my mid thirties to about 50. I was always thinking I had heart disease, cancer, Lou Gehrig's Disease, a host of others. Now and then the fear got so bad I'd visit the emergency room or made doctor's appointments. I never had anything close to the diseases I feared, and there were times I really felt I had the symptoms. I literally felt like I was dying, even in the doctor's office. On each of these visits, when I was given the all clear, I felt a sense of great relief followed by strong embarrassment and shame. It was a vicious cycle. About age 50 I just seemed to get so sick of it, it went down 99%. I developed psychological strategies on my own to deal with it.

I still get occasional panic attacks that I'm self-aware enough about to deal with---they mostly happen on freeways, bridges, escalators and elevators---but for the most part, my hypochondria is under control. Two phobias I've had for a long time is breathing in poisonous gas, swallowing poison or getting botulism. These happen rarely, but last night I really had a doozy.

I woke up smelling something burning. I've done this for years. I usually beat it down. I tell myself it's somebody in the neighborhood burning wood in their stove. This one seemed to have sort of a chemical/rubber/caustic smell, as opposed to the sweeter scent of wood. I worried, "Had a mouse chewed an electrical wire and started a fire, that was smoldering in the walls or floor boards?" Then I noticed I had a dull headache and felt a little dizzy. It was about 1 a.m. I thought, is it the extra Kratom capsule I took, or something else.... Then I thought, as I sometimes do, "carbon monoxide!". I tried to reason myself out of it. But the fear got so bad I got up and started doing computer research. I learned CO detectors, which I have installed on AC, eventually go bad. One source said 5 years. Wikipedia said 10. If it was the first, I could be in danger. If the latter, I was okay. I read the symptoms. Yes. I did have a very dull headache, yes, I was a little dizzy, and yes, a little nauseous. But was this Kratom, or a million other possible reasons. I've had these symptoms very, very often, countless times, for decades. It said the symptoms were very subtle and could take as long as 8 hours to kill or cause irreversible brain damage. I grabbed my blanket and pillows, went out the front door, and tried sleeping on the front porch. (Just a few minutes earlier I heard angry shouts. I live in a bad, crime ridden neighborhood, with random stabbings by psychos.) This is one of the craziest things I've ever done.

After a few minutes, I got up and went back inside. I opened up my bedroom window and turned on the fan. I still had my dull headache, dizziness, etc. I thought, if I die and I die. I'm not going to give into this. I'm not going to humiliate myself.

I fell asleep and the morning came. Dizziness and headache gone, no nausea. I've been in the same room, windows closed for many hours today.

Thing is, when you're in the throws of these kinds of fears, how do you know what to do? The gas is invisible and odorless. The symptoms are vague and by their own admission "subtle". Detectors are fallible. I don't expect a solution. I've had similar scares and probably will continue to. We've had hazardous air qualities in my area with very smoky air and I was a little spooked by it permeating my house, but I thought my CO detectors would take care of it. Now doubts have been planted in my mind. Why do I wake up sometimes and vaguely smell smoke? (I've heard this is a schizotypal symptom, but I don't like schizotypal as a concept, and I refuse to identify by that label.)

Anyway, just venting mainly. If I put it into words, maybe I'll increase my chance of freeing myself of it.

If the detectors are getting iffy in age, I'd switch them out, when I can, and try not to worry....

Ofc, now, in this I haven't heard if you were burning anything. I mean, for CO to be formed, you need to be burning something. You have gas appliances? I would think anything that would create a smoke smell, would have to get pretty smelly before CO got you. Unlike, say, a faulty gas appliance?

I've known of only one time CO was a problem, someone had a gas fireplace and it had gone bad somehow. Couldn't run it without setting off alarms. But I've had/have gas water heaters, space heaters, stove, etc., never have had a problem with CO.