"HOCD" or lesbian denial

^^ agreed.

Yes there was a time I wasn't aware I was bisexual, but once that got woke up, the ' want to' hit me hard, regardless of whether I wanted to be, or not. And looking back I can see how it was just not there as a child because I wasn't sexual as a child, and my bisexuality presents in a predominately physical fashion in regards to the same sex, not a romantic one... Not that I couldn't partner with the same sex, but it's extremely rare for me to 'crush' in that fashion. Not how it's wired for me.

That seems contradictory to what the previous poster was saying, that you are agreeing to.

"Always knew" vs Awakening.

And I'm coming from a mostly hedonistic standpoint, as I explained. I can't know I want cock until I saw it was something to be had, if as a child, I gave sex little thought-not only was I sheltered, I grew up in a world where if you were lucky, you got a peek at a pilfered girlie magazine-we didn't have every sex act imaginable shoved in our faces from the point our grubby little hands could grasp a nonexistent Ipad- between that and representation of LGBT themes in media and the learning environment, is my take on the explosion of sexually themed ocd- you can't be afraid of being something, if you've never heard of, or imagined, it.

Once you know you want/like/are a particular sexual flavor-you can kid yourself but there's a part that's like lemme at it. And as I said in hindsight I can see that even before I thought a specific thought that I want that (a statement, not a question if I want it), that I was what I am...

^^^ Yeah, I understand that. I think the reason i’ve always knew was because I was exposed to sex at a very young age (unfortunately), and I also have a romantic attraction to men so that makes sense in my case.

For me, I currently have TOCD and I’m trying to wrap my head around it and accept that I’m not trans. I’ve also been exposed to the trans community and have seen videos of people transitioning because I watched youtubers like Gigi Gorgeous, and transitioning was never something that I thought I wanted. I’m hoping that this is one strike against being trans.

Never heard of Gigi- she's pretty. It's not my personally preferred porn genre, but I've always had a bit of a thing for Bailey Jay. She brings out the Pansexual in me, I don't really care what she's got between her legs...

Well I consider myself non-binary gender, and I toyed- as a very informal mental exercise- hormones, back in the day... I'm not quite sure if it was a genuine desire, or some fetishistic behaviour on my part. But the point is that there must be something funky inside me, because it's not something that would just destroy my sense of self, to find I were trans. I feel as if the same thing went for you with being gay. It's so hard for folks like us to put into words for others with OCD to understand, the differences in feeling when it's OCD and when it's not. I'm no good at it but I feel there's a palpable difference- I was never feeling as if I simply must die if I liked the same sex- I wanted to like the same sex on a base level, even though I didn't want to have the want. There's a difference, but it's hard to put words to.