Girl with HOCD someone help

Hello, i really hope you can help me...
I am a young girl and think i may be suffering from HOCD ever since I was really small I have had crushes on boys up until recently. I always imagined scenarios in my head with boys and couldn't wait to have a boyfriend and got butterflies around them.
I think my HOCD started a couple of years ago when I was watching a 'coming out video' in a PSHE class.
Since then I was scared and 'am I gay?' thoughts popped into my head. I kept pushing then out until after a few months they left my head.
However they did come and go and often caused me anxiety as I really didn't want to be gay.
My HOCD came back very badly in December and I had many panic attacks because I found girls attractive.

I suddenly had many flash backs of times I thought girls were attractive in the past.
Although I was only a tween at the time I watched movies like 'American Pie' which had sexuality.
I never really understood them but always remembered my self finding the women gorgeous. I never was attracted TO them as far as I know... But remember finding them much more attractive then the guys. Whereas I only really liked 1 guy in the film.
I have always thought women were very very attractive, but when it came to being with them or having a relationship with them it did not appeal to me at all.
Since my HOCD has comeback very badly I no longer want a boyfriend as badly and I can't see my self with a man in the future.
My mind tells me I am in denial because I don't really care for guys anymore.
I defiantly don't want to be with a girl. the thought that I don't really long for guys tells me that I must be gay?
Is this true? I just don't want anything sexual or romantic anymore?
I keep thinking getting physically attracted to girls is a sign and whenever I see girl my mind tell me 'you like them' Apparantley this is false attraction?
I have to keep checking for reassurance on google and keep re-reading HOCD articles to see if I identify.
I got a massive anxiety attack when someone wrote it is possible to have HOCD and be gay...
I now look in the mirror at my body and don't recognise it and think it belongs to someone else because I don't identify with my body parts....
I'm not myself anymore and never want to go out with friends and anything to do with LGBT triggers anxiety.
I don't want any relationship right now I think I want to be be with a guy in the future but I I'm really unsure.
I now get scared girls are flirting with me or checking me out even when they're not.
Have I been in denial all this time?
I feel like it's so weird to have boobs and they're not mine or something? Does this mean I'm secretly a man?
I've spoken to my parents about this and they say it doesn't matter if I'm gay or not and to stop obsessing but I can't. Therapy is very expensive. I tried self-therapy for a few weeks but it is really hard and triggered more anxiety.
I told my friend about it and she said she suffered from HOCD for a year as well and we related a lot. But then my brain said do you like her??
I've always found girls stunning but never in that way???
Have I always been in denial?
Imagining kissing a guy now disgusting to me just thinking about their tongue in my mouth makes me want to gag, This is strange as i always loved the idea of being kissed by a boy. My mind tells me that i like kissing girls (when i imagine it ) just writing that makes me feel sick!
No offence intended to gay people as i have never been against them in any way and i have lost of family friends etc who are gay.
But ever since HOCD (if it even is that ) I have not wanted to be near gay girls as they trigger my anxiety badly) however I'm am still completely comfortable around gay guys for some reason??? All i can think about is finding girls cute and attractive. However no matter how intrusive my thoughts are i can never picture a relationship with a girl only ever a guy, however currently i don't see my self with anyone in the future!
Even being bi makes me panicked cause i don't want that
If you actually read all of this I can't thank you enough,
If you have read all of this i can't thank you enough!
Please help thanks

I'm sorry for what you're going through but it's nothing new when it comes to HOCD. I'm pretty sure I have felt everything you have and I still deal with it everyday. It just feels like it never goes away right? Look if being gay is causing you distress, then it doesn't bring any excitement or happiness therefore you can't be gay. Gays don't mind being gay just as straight people don't mind being straight. And you also certainly cannot be gay if you don't want a relationship with a female. Just try and use facts to help you logically process this and I would speak to your parents again and maybe show them some articles about how much of a problem hocd can really become or even share with them some posts on this forum as further proof. You will feel better if you have supportive people on your side. I hope you feel better.