What if it's just my ego (HOCD)

I've been obsessing over everything lately. Not just my sexuality, EVERYTHING about who I am. I'm scared of losing my personality, control over how I want to present myself, whether I'm actually good at my art or not, and whether people actually like me or if im really a good person.
I feel like ripping my insides out. I haven't felt like myself in two years. Im only in my young teens, I don't want to live the rest of my adolescence anxious and empty. Im I confident about everything, I don't feel I deserve to believe in myself anymore. It's making me wonder, what if I only still believe I'm gay etc. because of my ego? What if I'm only just sticking to a label and I actually don't care about girls or the LGBT community anymore? What if my hearts not in it anymore? What if it was only a phase and I'm in denial about it?

I just want to end my life!

I never found anyone hot either. I only ever felt romantic attraction. Help me..