Obsessive and terrifying thought

I just mentioned it to a psychiatrist I'm seeing (first time) and she suggested Prozac as a treatment.
I don't know what to think of it.

I see that pill as the magical pill that will help me through all this without me having to do anything but I know it won't work like that, at least not for a long time...

I don't feel the courage to dig into all the mess. Or maybe I don't want to help myself.
I think I'm feeling so lost I don't even know what I need.

Prozac will be very helpful. Not everyone takes to medications the same way. When I got on prozac, it helped a little but they took me off of it and put me on two more antidepressants until settling on fluvoxamine.

Prozac is supposed to be good for depression and OCD, but don't be afraid to suggest or request to be put on an anxiety medication. I'm on buspar for my anxiety and it's helped my OCD quite a bit! The buspar mixed with mindfulness techniques has immensely reduced the occurrence of my obsessive thoughts to the point where it's like I don't have them at all. Though, everyone takes differently to medication. It's about finding what feels best for you.

Speaking of mindfulness, I would recommend trying some techniques. I would recommend accepting the thoughts and the anxiety that comes with them rather than fighting them. Just observing them instead of being quick to react, as (I think) I mentioned in my first post.

I have real event OCD too, but I assure you it's not the end of the world and it's 100% something you can manage and get past! It may take some time, but it won't be like this forever.

What is mindfulness?
Is it like meditation?
I'm quite bad at staying still and focusing on myself. I don't want to like myself that's why.
I'm the kind that would be more into boxing and stuff like that but defenitely not yoga or meditation (even though I'm quite a calm person around people).

I'm really sorry for taking your time. I know that if you reply is only because you want to, but still I can imagine you rolling your eyes and thinking: "she definitely doesn't want help so this is a waste of time but I'll answer anyways".

I think my self confidence is so low that I anticipate people's reactions even if they might be completely different.

I know how it feels to be in your position! It hurts a lot and it feels like it won't ever stop, no one deserves that, especially not you! You're a very kindhearted person and helping people, especially with OCD, is important to me! It's easy to sympathize with people when you've been in the same position!

Mindfulness isn't necessarily meditation. It is, it can be, but you don't have to meditate to practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is essentially a grounding exercise of sorts where, when you get an obsessive thought, you kind of detach yourself from judgement and observe the thought until it eventually passes. It's important to realize that you'll still experience anxiety, fear, etc, but it's important to remember that you shouldn't act on it. This includes seeking reassurance, ruminating, reassuring yourself, etc.

When you get a thought you sit and let the thought happen, you don't try to push it away or make it stop, you accept that it's there and you embrace it. It does hurt at first because we're so used to reassurance, but after the first few times it gets easier! It's accepting and letting the thought happen in your mind. Essentially learning to exist with it.

So, if you were doing something, anything, and you got a thought about your teen years, you wouldn't dwell on it. You'd say to yourself, "this is a thought I'm having" or "I'm going to let this happen" and you'd continue whatever you're doing, essentially not acting on your compulsions and grounding yourself to the present moment while acknowledging your thought and your anxiety.

Thoughts and anxiety are very temporary. If you don't act on it, especially with OCD, it goes away within minutes. It's very very helpful for pure-O. With any OCD symptoms, be it doubt or thoughts or whatever, I tend to use mindfulness because it helps a lot. It's basically just ignoring it while acknowledging it, if that makes sense? It's not suppressing the thought or symptom, but embracing it and allowing it to happen.

After practicing this a lot, you should see a drastic difference in the frequency of your thoughts. I did, at least! It takes awhile to get used to it, but it's an extremely helpful tool for OCD that never hurts to learn!