getting forced to be gay? hocd?

17 year old male, I've always liked women , fantisiezed, crushed on, loved, but now its like I've lost all interest. Its like I'm being forced to be gay. Every morning I wake up, I check forums for re assurance. I've stopped watching some TV shows. Every time I look at my friends for a while its a spike, sometimes I try to avoid looking them in the eyes. I've had hocd for 2 years at least I hope its hocd. This year at school is worse. All 7 of my teachers are guys, what are the chances right. I get angry at people I love like family cause of this. I stopped hanging out with people after school. When my friends take me home from school they ask if I wanna hang out I just say my mom wants me home. I stopped drinking alcohol with my friends and getting drink cause I feel I'm going to tell them I'm gay. If I am gay I want no one to ever know. If I am I'll never date a guy I'll live on my own and never have a relationship. I used to get so turned on just from girls touching me now its difficult to get a boner when I'm about to have sex with them. I constantly tell my self I'm not gay but it doesn't seem to help, my MImind always tells me to come it the closet. Gay people are happy when the come out the closet, I feel like it would be hell people knowing and want to kill my self. I'm getting forced to be gay and I don't want to be.

I'm a gay or is this hocd? Does any of this resemble hocd. Anyone message back make an account or just reply. Thanks everyone for having the time to read this.

I can assure you that you aren't gay based on the first couple sentences alone. You are drawn to women but also drawn to the conflict inherent in OCD. I think you are projecting your fear of homosexuality onto women so you have something to worry about. My OCD has changed in many ways over the years. Right now it's hocd.

marto wrote:I can assure you that you aren't gay based on the first couple sentences alone. You are drawn to women but also drawn to the conflict inherent in OCD. I think you are projecting your fear of homosexuality onto women so you have something to worry about. My OCD has changed in many ways over the years. Right now it's hocd.

What do you mean by projecting fear of homosexuality onto mowen so I have something to worry about ( not trying to sound rude, just trying to understand it better)

lostInMyOwnWorld1314 wrote:

marto wrote:I can assure you that you aren't gay based on the first couple sentences alone. You are drawn to women but also drawn to the conflict inherent in OCD. I think you are projecting your fear of homosexuality onto women so you have something to worry about. My OCD has changed in many ways over the years. Right now it's hocd.

What do you mean by projecting fear of homosexuality onto mowen so I have something to worry about ( not trying to sound rude, just trying to understand it better)

Real attraction to women doesn't just disappear. You have a fear about becoming or being perceived as gay so you've construed subconsciously that you aren't attracted to women while being with women which intensifies the anxiety and makes it feel more real when it isn't.