trans ocd getting stronger??

so ive had HOCD for about 5 months. since im a straight girl, it made me feel kind of boyish because id always imagine myself with girls and itd give me anxiety. it was really obvious i have HOCD. but this?, i can kind of see myself doing. since ive felt like a boy on the inside when i had HOCD and thought i was gay, i had a day pop up about every week where id think about being transgender and it scared me. my thoughts were like "oh my god... i cant be boy!" its really weird because NOW im not bothered by this at all???! and now im scared of not being afraid of being a boy or something. i would never EVER give up being a girl): i mean maybe some days when i feel really comfortable with myself id feel loose and kind of boyish and not really care. and now all i feel is like a boy. ive never questioned myself being transgender before. ive always been jealous of girls and wanted to feel more girly. i love my body the way it is, i wish it was curvier and nicer looking. id never want to have a guys body at all(i mean maybe itd be less of a pain but i prefer a pretty female body) what scares me is that one time at school my friend referred to me as sir as a joke and i didnt mind it, i really hope thats just HOCD. and now im starting to overthink about if people referred to me as "him/he". im pretty sure that if i heard that before my hocd started, id feel a little bit offended. ive literally never felt genderfluid before and it never applied to me. ive always felt comfortable as a girl, but at the same time i wouldnt really care if i was a guy. i just rather prefer being a girl. i just want to be me, and that includes being a girl. i really admire androgynous girls and would like to look like a really pretty androgynous girl or a really pretty girl with long hair i also envy girls all the time. im too scared to cut my hair short but i want to grow it out long and pretty too. maybe its because i just feel boyish and not pretty enough. all my life ive never been a girly girl, but still i liked both girl and boy toys. i love makeup and shopping for clothes so i dont understand why i feel like a boy? sometimes i envy some guys with nice hair because they have natural beauty but i also have an attraction to them. does that mean i could be trans or something????i hope not ! but i feel like some other girls envy that too. id rather be with a guy than BE a guy. maybe i can be a tomboy on the inside, but i can NOT see myself as transgender without scaring myself. im a pretty feminine person, but i act feminine as a compulsion too. but i like feeling like a pretty girl and my ocd makes me feel like im not thankful for my own body): i miss feeling comfortable in my own skin):): this fear is the exact opposite of my HOCD. when i had HOCD, i was confused with "would i rather be WITH her or BE her?" and now its "do i wanna be with him or be like him?" except this fear is just part of me thats always been there. maybe its just the ocd i have thats overreacting, because i always want to be known as a girl. how do i get rid of the obsessive feeling?? its been driving me crazy/: i cant be around guys anymore without having this OCD feeling of wanting to BE them?? i know that part is OCD because ive gotten to used to its sense. its done everything it could to set me off and believe it, and i know most of it is fake. how can i get rid of this obsessive feeling? please give me some advice!!(:

Oh wow i can relate just that im a guy...i think because i feel effemiate it amkes it worse even though i always loved being a guy