Intrusive thoughts

Hi all,
i've been struggling a lot with depression and my intrusive thoughts. I have been diagnosed with OCD previously but i'm not convinced as i dont have many compulsions, just i don't like my thoughts. I have a repetitive thought that i am going to sexually abuse my daughter who i love with all my heart. i guess i just had to write this out and get it out of my head.

I'm just looking for a little support. I'm doing ERP with loop tapes and i KNOW that she makes me smile and i wouldnt want any harm to her but the thoughts are so frequent at the moment i feel like i'm going mad.

i know that i should just let them float by but its really hard to let something like that go....

a wee bit of support and comfort would be nice from someone.....

struggling....

Hi, scotsguy. POCD is, to me, by far the most terrifying of the many varied and strange OCD symptoms that I've read about, and you're talking to a guy who spends literally hours of every day walking through doors to 'prevent' his loved ones from being murdered or raped. You certainly have my sympathies.

Re: your concerns about your diagnosis. OCD without visible external compulsions is called pure-O, and is more common than you might think. Things you said in your post also closely mirror what I've seen in the posts of other POCD types. So I would strongly advise you to trust in your diagnosis.

I will say that in the one case study I've read in which loop tapes were used they worked out very well for the patient in the end. But I can't even imagine the stress of hearing fears that awful over and over and over in the moment. No wonder you're reaching out online. There's not much I can say but what I'm sure you already know: to stay strong and stick it out for your daughter. You're a braver man than I.

I'll put harm OCD up against POCD as being scary...

Agree with Bert- I'm mostly a 'pure-o' kinda person, myself, who has loads of intrusive thoughts and not a whole lot of visible compulsions. Especially like handwashing, lol. Kind of a slob, tbh.

but the THOUGHTS.... especially harm ones. I- would not be worrying overly about sexually abusing your daughter, if I were you. I mean, I'd play with the concept, in my head, but somehow I've always had a safety valve for that pedophile intrusive thought that puts the kibosh on that pretty quick.

Murdering her, on the other hand... oh my yes. I'd think it every. single. day. And don't get us close to a balcony railing! I get uneasy just writing about balconies. Either I'm going to push someone off, or go for an unscheduled flight, myself. I know it's absurd, but I have serious problems with balconies.

But... they're JUST thoughts. Thoughts that aren't acted on, are just thoughts. My harm thoughts- and I get them a lot- have yet to make me do anything. And I've had thoughts of killing others, or myself, for longer than most of the people in this forum have been alive. By a long shot. So... they're just thoughts, mijo. They're not going to make you do anything you don't want to do. If I haven't pushed/jumped off a balcony yet- and that is my number one intrusive thought achilles heel (I mean a railing is a damn magnet for me I feel so much like I'll just JUMP)...... then you're not going to harm your little girl. And yes, don't doubt that Dx of OCD- that's very OCD, trust us.

Let's see- it's been a week. Answer back, let us know how it's going!