Am I unique case HOCD? Or is it Gay Denial?

Hi guys,
My HOCD started a few weeks ago and has gotten to a bad state, in the past I have always been attracted to girls. However, this is a weird case, at the beginning when I looked at boys and though Am I Gay?(, but the symptoms of self checking elevated when I started question if I was gay with my friend? During this time I was extremely worried and kept self checking, on Internet.

My main trigger is only of my friends. Every time I am near him or talking with him I a group,I show 'crush' symptoms(heart beating fast) but I am terrified of the thought of being gay as well as homosexual intercourse. I feel nauseous. Sometimes, the symptoms of the crush get worse and make me feel extremely scared, I feel as though it is not there. Every time I do this I remind myself I am not gay but it soon comes back. Now I have resorted to avoid situations with him when possible.

Another weird aspect of this, occasionally the crush seymptons stop and I feel at peace around him but HOCD symptoms will comeback.and again I will worry. P,aging games and focussing on this seems to eliminate this temporary. Although I feel this symptoms, at no point I feel any sexual attraction towards him but at the peak of this I will scare confuse my self into thinking I am gay.

Personally, in my heart I am heterosexual and would like to be heterosexual forever. I have nothing against LGBT but I personally do not want to be gay or bisexual. For a solution, I would want to keep him as a friend.

Previously I have some anxiety with new people and scared to talk to crushes. Bad at public speaking

How do I stop these symptoms around him? I don't want to be gay. I don't know if it denial, homophobia or HOCD.