Is this even OCD anymore?

I dont even know if it is ocd anymore. I keep having thouhts about how being evil is a good thing and I should just embrace it. They keep telling me that evil people are the happiest. These thoughts started when I thouht about the Joker from Batman and how he seemed so happy all the time.

My mind latched onto that and that serial kilers and insane people are the happiest and I should just accept it and become one. I know I am not supposed to argue against these thoughts and ignore them but I can't help it. If I don't try to argue against the thoughts then I will agree with them. I try to argue about why I should be a good person and how evil sucks but my mind wins ever argument everytime. I can't come up with an argument on why I shouldn't be evil.

What makes it worse is that I don't even know if the thouhts bother me anymore because I am emotionless and don't feel much anymore these days. I don't even know if I feel anxiety. Like I have trouble identifying anxiety. I don't break out sweating or hyperventilate like other people with anxiety say they do. The only symptoms I can think of is tightening in chest and clenched jaw. Is this anxiety?

I don't know what to do against these thoughts and how am I supposed to live with them. Maybe my thoughts are my true feelings and I am just denying it I don't even know anymore.

Not too sure that evil people think of themselves as evil. So... if you think of it as being evil, then I don't know that you really want to be it.