Hatred

No, just attractions. But there was a time playing pool with a buddy of mine and when he bent over to shoot, I got an emotional arousal reaction and felt my penis swell up that felt it could've been a semi...

I'll watch ufc and the fighters are very fit and some of them pretty damn good looking while with barely wearing anything and I get a turned on feeling frequently.

I hate my life. I fxcking hate it.

-- Tue Aug 16, 2016 5:24 pm --

Proof, evidence, more proof and more evidence.

Well it sounds to me like you're testing and getting the things to happen that you expect to happen. Maybe you need to get ahold of your mindset before you make any decisions or don't make any at all...

Now, to me it sounds a lot like HOCD and you aren't really struggling to come out to people causing you to hate your life or angst which is what a LGBT person would be going through you have a strong dislike for actually being something you're not.

Anxiety can cause all of that so I hear. And I don't hear any genuine excitement proof coming from you either.

I don't have to test to get the results anymore.. It just happens automatically..

It feels like genuine excitement.. With women I just get anxiety. The most I ever get with girls is what feels like admiration.. And it sucks more than anything in the world.

Classical Conditioning.

I hope so man, cause this is scary the more I think about it. I'm scared that this whole hocd thing made me realize my true orientation and forced me to be someone I really don't want to be. Feeling like I'm hardwired with this orientation crushes my entire world.