i think i have POCD but am not sure ?

Am a 18 year old male and For a month now Ive had these intrusive thoughts that make me feel sick to death. Every time i masturbate i image of a child pops in my head. Non sexual and but its creeping me out. Am not a pedo ive never been attracted by children but it scares me. it feels like there is an attraction there but were has it come from ive never been feeling like this before. i feel like am lieing to myself even though am not. Because of these intrustive thoughts over time ive tried to calm myself down by comparing these thoughts to normal sexual thoughts. However now these thoughts feel like am creating them and i dont want too. It feels like i like it but i dont want to cause i know there sick and messed up . Its confusing me even more. I friend suggested that i try and masturbate to these thoughts so u can prove to yourself that your not. So i did and i felt sick i still do and it feels like thats just made things worse because after that the thoughts got worse and this attraction developed. even now if do masturbate and these intrusive thoughts come into my head i feel the need to do it again just so i can re-sure myself that i didn't think that. I now obsess about the future and will it get worse and what if i act on it even though i would rather die than do anything sexual to a child . It makes me feel miserable. Ive been around children most of my life and ive never felt anything , now i am nervous around children and scared. when am out the intrusive thoughts come in my head and i get a gronial response however ive been told that doesn't mean anything its just means am creeped out.Today i was at Starbucks and there was these children younger than me and i freaked out cause i felt an attraction it made me feel sick to my core i literally had to walk out. can anybody consider what i should do cause it making my life rubbish. i think ive got POCD. ive spoken to therapists and they have gave me med's and this is the first day talking them , but i just feel rubbish and scared that am actual a pedophile and am lieing to myself. But as i keep saying and so does my family if you were you would have had these thoughts years ago not just in a month. I want to have a normal life ive suffered from depression since 12 and this is just scary. hope someone can reply.

Masturbating to "check" is never going to be a reliable test and will only cause more issues in the long run. Arousal won't necessarily go away when you think a thought you don't like, so anyone might end up thinking they're aroused by anything if the thought pops into their head when they're already in the mood and touching themselves. This definitely sounds like textbook POCD to me. I'm guessing the friend you spoke to and your family don't think you're a "P" either.

Did you open up to the therapist about the content of these thoughts? What did they say?

I think the best course for you would be CBT to teach your mind not to be afraid of these thoughts, since they definitely seem to just be unwanted thoughts that mean nothing about your actual desires or who you are as a person. Did the therapists mention anything about starting CBT?

thank you for the response. My Parents and my friend don't think am a pedophile. I do find it hard to open up to my therapist , technically its not a therapist more of a cpn only found that out today. I feel though that my brain is saying am lieing to myself even though deep down i know am not. Am gonna look for a therpist dont know if the Nhs offer it but am gonna speak to my cpn about CBT. Its just trying to get these thoughts under control cause it feels like am thinking them up even though if feels totally alien and i dont have control over those thoughts whatsoever.