Transgender or OCD?

Sorry, I know there have been questions like this asked before. I'm a girl (19) and I have OCD and so when it comes to trying to figure out if I'm trans or not there is always that little voice that's like 'it's just my OCD'

Without going into too much detail, I was a tomboy growing up and there were times when I tried to pee standing up or asked my parents to buy me boys underwear. I became more girly in high school because I was being bullied and kids would say that I looked like a man and so I became more girly to stop the bullying. My OCD about being seen as a man got so bad that I had to drop out of my Sixth Form (last two years of US high school if that helps) and I mostly stayed home for 8 months and went to a new Sixth Form after that. So I don't know how a person can be female to male trans but have OCD about being called a man. I kind of like being girly sometimes but when I'm alone it's a different story. I have Maladaptive daydreaming problems and I constantly daydream about being a boy in different situations (famous, military, regular life etc) and I've done this for a long as I remember and I don't know why the main character (that is mostly in first person) is male and not female. It's like there are two versions of me- the female real life one and the male daydream one and I'm worried that I'm not trans and it's just the daydreaming that's bringing these feelings. My OCD also doesn't help with the obsessive questioning and compulsions to ensure that I don't 'turn trans' (it obviously doesn't happen that way).

But despite all of these problems if I could choose to have been born a cis male I would. I don't think I have dysphoria with my body and I'm not sure I would like to transition. What I do know is that when I'm alone in my room and I'm daydreaming and acting out these daydreams (usually pretending to be famous and singing whilst listening to music or a famous Youtuber acting out youtube videos or something) all of my problems disappear for an hour or two until I stop.

How can someone differentiate between OCD and being trans? Thanks everyone!

Your post is a little confusing. I mean, are you SCARED of being trans or are you scared of being a female?
And yes, there is such thing as female to male. And more often than you think. It all boils down to what you actually want and want to present as. If you'd rather be a female and present as one, then you're female. If not, well, then you're probably trans. From your post, I think it sounds like you could be, or that you could be bigender. None of what you said is any proof, but if you want to be a man, it means you're trans. I don't know what scares you here though.. Either being male or being female.

kayb14 wrote: It's like there are two versions of me- the female real life one and the male daydream one

This right there sounds more like gender fluidity rather than the usual transgender thing. It means you can feel more like a girl on some days and more like a boy on other days, and you can dress and behave accordingly.
But, I'd still see a specialist who is experienced with such things, he can help you find your true identity. Good luck!

Okay. I think maybe I savvy, here.

You are CONCERNED.... a little obsessed (duh, that's why we're here) over being trans. You're tomboyish, etc etc would have chosen a Y sperm if you'd been asked about it when you were an egg, so on and so forth. But not terribly uncomfortable wearing the skin you have, correct?

Okay so you're like, the opposite of me. Just reverse the genders. I'm male, would have told the Y sperm to get the hell away from me if I'd had the choice, hardly ever daydream anymore as a male, but I'm not trans, don't just hate me or anything etc. etc.

OCD.... so it seems to me.... prefers to deal in absolutes. Black. White. No grey. HOCD: a few thoughts or something, omg I'm gay! POCD- that was a cute 14 y/o (never mind that's not actually pedophilia) omg I'm a perv! Harm OCD: I had the thought to shoot/stab/push off a balcony my (significant other/mother/father/sibling/pet) omg I'm a psychopath/crazy/possessed!

You see where this is going....

Life ain't binary. OCD loves to be all in or nothing, because obv we're our most afraid when we are totally the thing we fear being. I happen to be bisexual- but OCD don't like that, no. OCD say you're GAY!!! You're in denial. Or, occasionally, the opposite- and I'm just been kidding myself or confused or something. Black/white

It's perfectly possible, sweet pea, to be... genderqueer. I'm sort of kinda, on the inside, a demiguy of sorts. It works for me. The BSRI places me as female-brained, other gender tests usually place me in the middle. I'm not too keen on the idea of androgyny... I like the term, 'gender balanced'. I'm not Trans, though. And you don't have to be, either. You don't have to be Trans, OR OCD, to be something not quite all girl. This is not an either/or game. It's not all-or-nothing.

I went through a similar thing however it didn't really trigger my OCD. I also maladaptive daydream a lot and it's more of me as a man. I never saw myself as girly and around last year I decided to tell others that I was trans and most people were very accepting of it. However, when others began reffering to me as a boy it felt wrong. I've came to embrace more of my feminine side and I'm still unsure of my identity, but remember that your gender doesn't change who you are and it isn't a big dral. You don't need to put yourself on a label, just remember that you are you and that you can be whoever you want I hope this helps a little

Naw it doesn't have to be a big deal, especially if you don't feel Trans enough to want to change your body. And- IDK I'm attracted to the more tomboyish girls so maybe I'm just talking out of my ass here but it seems y'all have an easier time of it being boyish, than someone like me expressing their feminine side. Noooooobody likes a sissy, lol. As kids a tomboy is 'cute', at least up to a certain age, but a boy who's a little bit of a sissy like I was, well, ptthththth. Anyway there's no reason to stress this. I'm OCD about a lot of things but like xxib this is one thing that never stressed me or triggered anxiety- in my 30s I had gotten to the point where I wondered if I was- and actually kinda sorta wanted to be- trans, and after taking some gender tests and MtF trans tests decided it was a pipe dream- but no, I'm not 'all boy', nor do I wish to be. That would seem a bit too one-dimensional or something. I wouldn't feel like a whole person.