If I do that, I know theres a high chance of making the obsession and anxiety worse since I know I'm gonna end up wiping it down more than once because it didn't feel "right" the first time. Then during the process of wiping down my car, I might be too tense since I want to make sure I clean everything perfectly which leads to me accidentally "contaminating" other surfaces/objects in my car that I have to wipe down again and again..if you have OCD, you know what I'm talking about. Also, I know its gonna give me less anxiety after I wipe it down but only temporary because I know giving in to these cleaning compulsions makes my OCD worse. Compulsions only provide brief relief. But if I don't clean it-if I don't give in to my compulsion, I run the risk of accidentally dosing myself with LSD. And the reason why I don't want to be contaminated with lsd in my system is because I know LSD can make existing mental problems (such as OCD or anxiety) worse. And it can bring out other underlying mental problems if you have it. And I guess I'm so worried about getting dosed by accident is because I heard LSD changes your personality. I like my personality, which is why it gives me another reason to be anxious...another part of my obsession is if I take lsd, it might change my personality for the worse.
And I know the chances of me getting dosed by accident by touching the same things that my friends touch after they have handled lsd is kinda slim but its the fact that I know there's a small risk that I can get drugged unintentionally. Even if the risk is not big, like if theres just a slim probability that the lsd can absorb through my skin, i will still have anxiety because my OCD makes me feel like I need to have PERFECT or close to perfect certainty that the obsessive thought won't happen. Also, if I have a chance of controlling variables and outcomes to prevent the obsessive thought from actually happening, it will make me even more anxious because I'm gonna have a strong urge to do that particular compulsion to make EXTRA sure that the obsessive thought will be prevented from happening.
So what should I do? Do you guys think theres a good risk of being exposed to lsd if I don't wipe my car down?
And if I do wipe my car down, I might have less anxiety but not for long because I know its gonna make my obsessive thought and anxiety worse.
My brain hurts from overthinking all the possibilities that can happen if I do one or the other.
