by Adghtsight » Sun Jun 19, 2016 4:54 am
Hi. I'm new here. I have been diagnosed with ocd for a few years now. I've had it all my life. the checking, the anxiety, all of it. I used to be real bad when I was young. To add insult to that, I dressed in my moms clothes (when i was young) also. Puberty hit and I would dress up and masturbate. When I was done (ejaculating), I would take off the clothes and feel guilty and a little ashamed. this went on for a while, and as I grew up, I would do it less (friends, girls, etc.) I never gave it a second thought about it really. Years pass and one day i read an article about girls who start liking girls. Then it hit. I started thinking about my past and started worrying that I might be gay because of what I used to do (women's clothes). That was a rough time for me. Long story short, with help I got over it finally, found the love of my life and have been married many years with 3 very great happy kids. Now, something else has cropped up entirely. I read online that cross dressers that masturbate can also be child molesters. Now, I remember back when I was in eighth grade maybe, I would babysit for the next-door neighbor. I did this a few times. two times I can remember I wore her clothes and masturbated (alone, it was late and kids were asleep). Now my problem is that, while I don't remember ever touching those kids in any way sexually, that maybe I could've done something and not know or remember it now. I'm pouring myself over my memories and trying to remember something, but overall i get no memory of that I did anything. Honestly, child molestation is something I abhor, and always have. It's morally wrong, and I pain for all of the poor kids that have gone thru that. Is this just my odd? can i just not remember? please help!