Help me get this out of my mind

Hello. I'm a 19 years old girl, and I feel like I got to a dead end. I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD, but the fact that I keep having really bad axiety spikes and depression for 2 months now, just because of thinking about something, is driving me crazy, and I thought this is the place to share.
About an year ago I met someone online who changed my life. He was the first person I ever fell for, because he met my expectations and he completely matched all my criteria. Intelligent, funny, emotional, caring, good listener, etc. I was drawn to him ever since I met him, and he helped me go through some difficult times. He knew how to get close to me, even though I am kind of introverted and shy, and it took him a few weeks until he "tamed" me. After that, we became good friends, and later best friends. I don't even know what kind of feelings I had towards him, we considered to be as close as siblings are, but he was the most important person of my life, and he treated me like I meant a lot to him. Actually, there were moments when he seemed to love me more than I loved him. He was always talking such in a sweet way, always telling me how much he loved me and that I was his "wonderful amazing little sis". I couldn't ask for more. I was never bothered by the fact that things didn't evolve from there...in fact, I really loved having a male bestfriend, because these things are rare. We were basically spending almost all our time together, talking on the phone, watching movies, texting, playing online games, supporting each other, etc. But after almost an year, he started to lose interest in me and nowadays he doesn't even find 10 minutes to talk to me. Even worse, he recently told me that I should drop the idea of us being so close, I am a simple friend to him, nothing more than that (about 2 months ago he was saying how much he loved him "perfect little sister" and now I'm a regular friend), and now he rarely writes me. I had some discussions with him about this topic, he is really ignorant and doesn't want to talk about it, he forgot how much happiness I brought him back then, and now he denies everything for some reason.

It's been weeks and I could not take my mind off this. OCD is killing me slowly, because I constantly ask myself why he acts like this. Another question I can't get rid of is if he ever loved me, as he used to tell me, or he just faked the love. I've been having these intrusive thoughts and they're making me feel worse and worse everyday. Every second of my life consists of me asking myself "how could he do this to me?", "what if he never loved me?", "what if he really loved me but something made him not love me anymore?", "what if he loved me and he still loves me, but something made him grow apart from me?". The luggage of thoughts is becoming heavier everyday, and I find it impossible to focus on my everyday life and my activities, I cannot enjoy movies, games, eating, sleeping, etc. I tried so hard to forget everything, and sometimes I can get rid of the thoughts during the evening, when I am more calm, but my brain seems to forget everything and revert to obsessive thinking when I wake up in the morning. I already tried medication, therapy, counselling, but nothing helps. I've been seeing a phychiatrist, a psychologist and lately I even went to see a neurologist, because the anxiety has gotten worse and I am having horrible arm and chest pain. Nothing helped, and the pressure from my parents and close ones in making me feel even more anxious. Is there something I can do to feel better?

Dear Khalevi:

It is my understanding of your situation that like so many of us, you need more love in your life, that growing up, you didn't get enough of it at home. How sad it is, to me, that it is so common. When you got that loving attention online from this guy, once you got used to it, it meant a whole lot to you. Losing that, as you have, is devastating, isn't it. So that devastation triggers lots of thinking aimed at trying to figure out why you lost that love so that you can get it back.

The therapy you wrote that you attended and it didn't work, well, maybe another psychotherapist, someone competent, empathetic, hard working (not all psychotherapists are created equal)- so to look into your past, your childhood (officially only a year or so behind you...) to examine the lack there, the lack now, grieve it and move forward to a life where you will find the love you so very much deserve.

atina