ROCD?!? This us killing me!

Hello all,

I'm new to this forum and new to my OCD diagnosis. I've been in a bit of a crisis the last few weeks which started out of nowhere thinking that I could be gay. I told my GP and he prescribed me Zoloft 50mg. I started taking it and I can feel myself cycling throughout the day where I will wake up in a panic then have depression/worry all day until about 7pm when I slowly enter a feeling of "peace" during which I still have bad thoughts but they are shorter and don't bother me. I have also been numb to any good feelings and have only felt anxiety. After I was able to attribute my gay thoughts to HOCD, I started to become concerned that I was a pedophile. This was my primary concern prior to my first appointment with my therapist. She put me a bit at ease but then I started becoming concerned that I didn't love my wife anymore. These are the thoughts that have been running through my mind non stop since Friday. I have tried to tell myself that this is just OCD and that I, of course, love my wife. However, the more I think about it the less sure I become. Now I feel convinced that I don't love her and it is tearing me apart. I have very very short moments of feeling that I do love her and that I'm being ridiculous but those are becoming few and far between and I'm getting even more depressed. I want to make my relationship work and more than anything, I want to be with my wife forever in my rational mind. But I'm scared that I have been lying to myself and that I don't love her and have maybe never truly loved her. I can't remember any of the happy times we had and feel like my whole relationship is a lie. Can anyone help who has had these same concerns? I have seen other ROCD threads on here and on other sites but none have mentioned getting to the point I'm at now where I am convinced I no longer love her.