hocd/rocd ? HELP I'm going insane !

hello,

Sometimes i am fully convinced that i am suffering from HOCD and other times i am convinced that i am actually gay , i can see myself like ignoring the thoughts and especially the feelings that i have concerning hocd because i suffered from another form of ocd before and i just ignored the thoughts and the feelings whenever a thought or a feeling pop in my head i do not give him any importance , but what's killing from inside is my girlfriend like i can't feel anything for her i'm always numb, i know deep down that i love her but some how i have this feeling that i don't love her or that i am actually gay and can't love girls even though i know how i felt around my first crush ( you know the warm feeling in your heart ) it's now vanished , whenever i receive a msg from my girlfriend i don't feel a thing !!! whenever i am talking to her there is a thought of my mind telling me that i wish that she don't talk to me and i get really afraid that i can't love her.

can anyone relate to my situation ? i want to know is this normal for a guy suffering from hocd and if i ignore hocd FEELINGS and thoughts ( because hocd for me is more about feelings ) will i get that urge to be around girls ? that warm sensation when i touch her hair or her skin ? that feeling when you see her ?

I'm kind of dealing with a similar thing. I'm a lesbian though, and I am terrified of becoming straight. I have identified as gay for years. I have always loved being with women, and I have a girlfriend right now. But one day I had the thought "what if you're not actually gay?" and it's been my current OCD theme. I am so afraid my relationship with my girlfriend has been a lie or I can't feel anything for her anymore. It's been really hard on me to the point of even calling myself a lesbian is even hard. It sounds like it's a theme for you, especially if you felt romantic feelings towards women before. It's easier said than done, but just telling the thoughts to eff off can work. I still haven't fully mastered it yet, but I'm working on it.