HOCD how to treat it?

I was so reluctant to post anything on here but i feel like my mind is at war with something that isn't there.

Ill give a background story:

So this all started on the 1st of June, my birthday which was last week (woohoo). Ive been pretty stressed out about a few things 1. Its the end of the semester at uni which i started this year and I had 3 major assignments to hand up, one was on my birthday, one was on the night of my birthday party and one is this coming thursday. and 2. my birthday party planning has been very stressful as my parents aren't together anymore and can't really communicate so guess who was the messenger.. me!

I also have the most wonder amazing boyfriend of 3 years, which i love to death and would do anything for. he's someone i could see being with for the rest of my life. and he treats me like gold.

On the morning of my birthday and the morning of my assignment being due, everything was good i was so happy, my boyfriend went to work, people were writing on my Facebook wall, and i started doing normal things to get ready in the morning, putting on youtube videos and finishing off the very last bit of my assignment. This particular youtube video coincidently had lesbian in it, and all of a sudden i went "could i be lesbian" and then i thought of my relationship with my boyfriend and if it would ruin us if i were to be one. The thing is, i know I'm not a lesbian but at the time i was very upset by these thoughts and felt sick instantly, dizzy and like i was going to pass out. That started as an hour long panic attack which i found out later that that was what was going on as i was alone and unsure of what was happening to me.

I kept feeling worried that the panic attack was going to come back which kept me on edge all day, made me lose my appetite, lose sleep due to thinking more about these crazy thoughts and i felt extremely anxious.

The thing about these thoughts is that i don't want them and i don't feel like myself when I'm like this. I want to feel my normal self again because its when I'm the most happiest. But for some reason my brain keeps saying that i want to be with a girl which i am afraid of and also a particular girl in my class. She has just come out being bisexual and i feel like because she is the only girl i know who is into girls and my brain has connected my thoughts to her. when the thoughts pop up in my head of her they are always normal activities you do with friends like having dinner with others as well as her and doing homework together but my brain would go "this is what it would be like in a relationship with her" and i instantly freak out because its something i know i don't want but i do want to be friends with her. I would then force myself think of her in a sexual way but that really grossed me out and gave me a sick to my stomach feeling again and would trigger my thoughts.

I am worried that if i see another girl or her, that these thoughts that disgust and make me feel anxiety will come true and because of this i think ive developed a phobia of it.

Ive definitely manifested it into something huge which I'm worried will take over my thoughts, i know how i feel, i know that i love the male body which turns me on especially my boyfriend as i think he is the sexiest thing to walk the earth. But I'm worried these thoughts are going to take over and i know id be miserable if i were with a girl.

I am perfectly fine with being bisexual aswell, i am happy for gay people to live their life happy but i know that i am not this and that is why is stresses me out.\

Even if i know that i am thinking false thoughts and that my real thoughts about my bisexual friend is just that she is my friend, i keep asking myself "well why did you think that then in the first place" and then it will flare all back up again.

Ive always had crushes on boys and it feels so natural to me, but thinking of this girl doesn't feel natural to me, you get what i mean?

I just want to feel like me again, i am not happy with the thoughts i am having, i don't enjoy it i know from reading online this could be a form of HOCD or OCD and i know that it is that but when the thoughts strike in my head i doubt my real thoughts and the thoughts say "what if you will be happy with a girl". I know for a fact that i would be miserable if i wasn't with my boyfriend because of the love i feel for him and how he makes me feel complete.

I have told my boyfriend all about this situation and he is okay with it, he would be fine with it if i were bisexual as would my friends and family but i just know its something i am not and that is the most frustrating part.

So my question is. How can i deal with this? obviously I'm going to have more assignments in the future but when i do my assignments i think of uni and then i think of that friend and you know the rest.. but i want to do my course so badly and i don't want to leave. i just need a way to deal with these stupid thoughts that aren't true.
Also i need confirmation from others that what i have is HOCD, because i know it myself that its silly but my brain is a bit crazy at the moment.

Also one other thing id like to mention is that I'm actually not attracted to this girl, I think she's pretty but i also think that some of my other friends are prettier but I'm not having these thoughts about them. Its just that I'm having these thoughts about her which disgusts me and my brain keeps telling me that its because i think more of her. Maybe its just cos i wanna be closer friends to her, that would make me a lot happier if i were thinking that, or maybe it is because she is bisexual and because of her preferences, my brain has slotted her into my thoughts as a test. But those tests have manifested itself into "what ifs" about her.

If anyone has any advice for me, please write because I'm going insane and i just wanna feel like my normal self again, with no silly thoughts
-stressedidiot

By the way, if anyone who reads this feels stressed about your thoughts. When you can, write them all out like i did. I feel a lot more at ease right now since I've done this! Would recommend, don't be afraid of what you're going to write

Hey
I've been going through this severely for about 2 months but for years on and off and it sucks. when it got really bad I lost all my sex drive and attraction to girls and porn has played a massive part in my struggle. I'm only 16 the last 2 months have been a living hell for me I think about it from the moment I get up til when I go to bed at night and I'm just fed up. I decided to tell my parents and it's the best thing I ever did ; we found a therapist and I have gone to him 3 times now although it helps it doesn't completely kill it ( partially my fault because of temptation to masturbate and watch porn ) I'm sorry for the detail by the way. This really isn't something you can deal with alone others might disagree but your sexuality is such a big part of your life maybe even the biggest because it is who you are. And for that reason I'd recommend telling your parents or someone with the money and seek a therapist who SPECIALISES IN ANXIETY FUELLED DISORDERS ( OCD etc..) . Because for me dealing with it alone eventually made it a whole lot worse and it is destroying me. Now I live in constant doubt of my sexuality and am hoping this therapy will help me recover as much as I can. Good luck!