My dad has OCD & is always screaming and refuses to get help

I will start off with some background info. My dad is in his forties. I don't know much about him because he keeps to himself most of the time. I only know that he was raised by an asshole strict aunt that demanded perfection from him or either she would hit him with the belt. Then, I know nothing more about his traumas, only that he started using drugs when he was 14. I was born when he was 21 and since ever.... My life with him as my father has been hell. But it is until now that I am 21 that I am sick and tired of his behavior.

My sisters, my mom and I mostly always wake up to him in a horrible mood, screaming and talking in a harsh tone of voice whenever he sees any imperfection or trash on the floor. He always has to be smoking enormous amounts of pot all day long and just consuming it to escape his OCD. After an hour or so he then begins to start cleaning everything anxiously and somehow with aggression. He organizes and organizes over and over again and constantly misplaces our stuff and loses them or throws them away. He does this all day long. He complains about how everything should be perfectly clean and we can't stand him anymore.

Aside the fact that he says he hates going out and since only he drives, we hardly go out far from home. This is only getting worse and worse everyday. He is more aggressive. His mood swings are impredictable. He starts arguments for no reason. Our family is breaking apart .. more than ever. I am full of anger towards him. I dont know what to do. My mom is like a child... she depends on me so... how the hell do I treat him if he treats me so bad? How do I behave towards his OCD? He wants no help. He refuses to get help. We dont have the resources to move out anytime soon. Any type of advice would help. Thank you all in advance.

Dear eliza333:

That aunt that unfortunately raised your father, she lives in his head and he hears her voice every day, giving him a hard time. He obeys her voice and gets angry at her voice all at the same time, and he gets angry at anyone and everyone around him, hearing his aunt's voice probably talking to him through you and others. He tries to silent her voice with pot but that doesn't do much good. He doesn't want herlp, psychohterapy kind of help. And so, if your assertion with him didn't work, there is nothing for you to do but to move out or have him move out so you don't live with him. I don't see any other solution that is going to work.

atina

I agree with atina. He's internalised his aunt's critical voice. There's nothing anyone can do. He has to recognise he has a problem and be motivated to change. Look after yourself!

i'm so sorry you are in this situation. i hope you know your dad's ocd doesn't excuse him hurting you and your family, especially if he refuses to acknowledge the problem. you have the right to be angry at his behavior even though it stems from trauma and mental illness

unfortunately i agree you can't "force" him to get better or seek help if you've tried talking to him and he refuses to consider it. have you tried getting the whole family together to talk to him about it together, like an intervention? i'm not sure what else might get through to him but i just wanted to say that really sucks and i hope things get better for you and your family soon