A bizarre combination of my magical thinking and POCD

My OCD has certainly mutated and has taken my two biggest themes, but not in the way I would have expected. With this magical thinking about outside forces putting thoughts in my head, I often set up "challenges" to prove things. The vast majority are stupid and don't come true. In the midst of all this I still have some POCD. I still get groinals at times, and I sometimes avoid triggering material. Well, yesterday I set up a new challenge. This was basically "My groinals will go away." I saw this video with a kid in it, and the groinals popped up. I remembered what my challenge had been and as I was thinking of it, the groinals started to diminish significantly. This bothered me a whole lot and I've been testing myself all day. I've found that simply saying they will go away isn't sufficient, but if I really take that thought to heart, (if that makes since) a lot of it goes away. I've been testing myself for some possible reasons. I decided that next time, I would avoid setting up this challenge, and instead focus on my heartbeat (which would probably get faster since I'm anxious). I found that it may slightly reduce them but I can't tell. I am now afraid that there really is something above and beyond OCD that's controlling me, and it's driving me insane. I'm going to try to avoid testing myself for the rest of the day, but I haven't been this anxious in a long time so I don't think I could really do anymore testing.

This is so weird! I never thought I would be worried about NOT getting groinals. Do groinals happen because you don't want them to happen? Am I just focusing on something else when I do these tests?

Today I ended up testing again but this time with general intrusive thoughts (like different phrases and stuff). I found the same result. "I will not have these thoughts" made them go away and "I will have these thoughts" made them come back. This has not caused me as much anxiety and the thing a few days ago. The only explanation I can come up with though is that it seems OCD makes the opposite happen. The test was intended to show there's nothing in control of me, and when saying "I will not have these thoughts" I try my hardest to actually think of them because if that happens it provides evidence against it. When I say "I will have these thoughts" I try not to think about it and that makes it happen. When I'm trying NOT to think about it, I know why it occurs. I've heard of thought suppression. I just don't have anything specific for the fact that it doesn't happen when I actually WANT it to happen. Any thoughts, information, and past experiences with this? I imagine this is sort of equivalent of someone with HOCD wanting to get the groinal response from people of the opposite sex and failing.