OCD worse then ever!!!! someone please help!!!!

I haven't posted on here in a while as ive tried my best to stay off all forums however it didn't work at all. my OCD has become so much worse lately (ive been suffering from HOCD lately and I'm a girl currently 16) ive been constantly checking for arousals when I see girls. all my anxiety is making me feel aroused which is ten times worse. ive been forcing myself to be around the same sex a lot and watching tv and listening to music again trying to get back into my same old routine, however its made me spike even more then ever. I cannot do anything without these thoughts in my head. I don't eat hardly and when I do I hardly eat anything, my libido has fully gone. I don't sleep because I'm afraid ill have another nightmare about lesbians. whenever I get spiked I check constantly on these forums to check that I haven't turnt gay. I don't watch porn or anything I never have in my life. ive never been attracted to girls.

however I have admired girls like wanting to be their friends because I never really had many friends that were girls in my life like a best friend as I was a tomboy. therefore I had to hang around with boys and as I had a brother who was only 11 months younger then that wasn't a problem. I have grown up loving boys always always and never ever dreamed of being with a girl, never fantasised about it I had always wanted to grow up get married and have kids with a man. recently I have not been feeling anxious about the thoughts which scares me even more because I don't want this to happen but I have been so convinced that this is who my mind wants me to be. Its been getting so bad that now I'm starting to actually think I'm gay or bi as my attraction for boys has completely gone. I just want this all to go away and now I cant even be myself because I think that being myself will make me turn gay as I'm a tomboy I cant hang around with boys I cant listen to rap music with male rappers as I think it will make me gay. I'm constantly feeling aroused because I am anxious all the time and I feel like I should be this person my mind wants me to be but I don't want to be I think I wil just magically turn gay. i keep analysing my past relationships with boys and thinking they were all a lie i keep thinking i don't love my boyfriend which i do more then anything in the world. i could go on forever but i don't want to bore everyone to sleep. i am the only one feeling like this or am i like everyone else with OCD, is this even OCD anymore because i feel like i enjoy the thoughts when i don't I'm at the really confused stage at the moment its tearing me apart