confused w/hocd

Im so sick of this. i feel like i am gay or bi but i just am afraid to act on it. And how come i am always getting these turned on feelings toward women?? bow can i be straight if im constantly getting them. like without thinking abour it ill feel like im attracted to womens bodies. its frustrating. i feel like the mood my anxiety everything has to be right to be with a guy. on a basic level shouldnt straight ppl always be attracted to the opposite sex without all the right conditions? idk. im so lost i have no clue whats real or not. also i am soo picky with guys like beyond picky and maybe its bc im gay ans thats why. i just feel like im repressing/using ocd as an excuse bc i dont wanns deal or accept that im more sexually attracted to women?? ugh idk.

Dear looking_ahead:

My thoughts on the matter this evening: it is natural for an individual to be attracted to the opposite sex and to the same sex because either sex, a woman or a man, can perform certain acts on your body that will turn you on.

In nature, animals are all about reproduction and that takes male-female sex. But humans are far from being all about reproduction. Plus we can do what animals don't: we can think, imagine and experiment. I for one (I am a woman) am thinking: a man can do THIS to me and it will feel good. A woman can do the same thing and it will feel as good. I mean, how can you tell in the dark anyway?

So, I am thinking, it is nothing but natural to be attracted to both sexes because both sexes can perform acts that will be a turn on.

atina

I can get that with no anxiety. But At this point after all the obsessong and distress I feel like I am gay for sure but im having trouble believing the thoughts are just a product of ocd or if i am gay and blaming it. i keep telling myself
my intense attraction type feelings toward women r ocd related but how can ocd create a intense attraction feelig and completely bloxk out the other sex. i dont feel attracted to guys at allll barely. its like i can ignore any guy. how can ocd do that? think i just used to think i likrd guys when i was younger bc i wanted to believe it ??' and now my brain is tiring of it? cause how can ocd stamp out something like that?

looking_ahead wrote:I can get that with no anxiety. But At this point after all the obsessong and distress I feel like I am gay for sure but im having trouble believing the thoughts are just a product of ocd or if i am gay and blaming it. i keep telling myself
my intense attraction type feelings toward women r ocd related but how can ocd create a intense attraction feelig and completely bloxk out the other sex. i dont feel attracted to guys at allll barely. its like i can ignore any guy. how can ocd do that? think i just used to think i likrd guys when i was younger bc i wanted to believe it ??' and now my brain is tiring of it? cause how can ocd stamp out something like that?

I'm sure you're just as tired of all this as I am. I noticed that HOCD becomes immune to whatever you use against it, and this immunity will eventually be used by it against you. So, maybe you tried to reassure yourself as straight so much using the attraction that HOCD simply became immune to this reassurance and is using it against you. I know this because that's what's happening with me right now, everything that used to help me against HOCD is now destroying me.
I don't exactly now the solution to that yet.. the correct would be to simply accept yourself as straight but this is hard as hell, I'm trying to do this right now.. but how can I do it if I don't have any reassurance, if I don't have any emotion telling me that I'm straight? I don't know. But maybe that's the only way out of this, and this is where I'm trying to go.

Good luck, if you need, PM me.

Looking Ahead

Were you attracted to Guys before HOCD hit you ?

I don't think that's a good question to ask.

Well, I can only hope that I'm straight, because my sexual drive and my emotions don't tell me anything right now. I remember when I saw on TV 2 guys kissing how weird it was and how weird I felt.
I hope my attraction to girls will be back to what it once was, because right now I'm just broken. Sometimes the thought that I want to be gay just come into my head, and I can't say 'no' because I don't feel disgusted about being gay anymore, I've imagined myself kissing other guys so much in the past few months that I don't feel anything anymore.
So yeah, I can only hope I'm straight and just let the car go on. I'll try to rest my brain of this stuff for some time, you should do the same. I'm afraid that it wont work, but whatever. Just calm yourself down.
Remember, you can always PM me if you need help, we can talk about whatever you want, just don't go crazy.

Dear qazwsxedc / looking_ahead/ Reader:

You wrote: "but how can I do it if I don't have any reassurance, if I don't have any emotion telling me that I'm straight? "

I was thinking, there is no emotion that can tell you that. Our basic emotions: scared, sad, mad, glad, ashamed (basic), none of them can tell you what your sexual orientation is. It is a complexity of emotions, existing social conventions, values, etc. An attraction to an individual of same sex is possible for a straight person and an attraction to an individual of the opposite sex is possible for a gay person. So attraction is not telling. Neither is lack of attraction.

Whatever reassurances anyone is looking for, just make sure the thinking behind the reassurance is true to reality... think scientifically, best you can.

atina

Well you can try to think scientifically, but there are no scientifically proven facts when it comes to orientation only anecdotal and circumstantial.

* Dear jdd: what you wrote, "there are no scientifically proven facts when it comes to orientation." reads very true to me. What I mean by scientific thinking is for example the following thought:

It is possible (happened/ happens) that a gay person is sexually attractive to an individual of the opposite sex. It is also possible for a straight person to be sexually attractive to an individual of the same sex. Therefore it if any person is sexually attracted to a particular individual of any sex, this in and by itself is no indication of sexual orientation.

At least, this is my effort at thinking scientifically, something that might be useful to examine.

atina