Pure O? HOCD HELP ME ASAP

I know I can't be diagnosed here but I would like some advice from someone? personally I dont think I have ocd but here it goes..

I will start off a bit about myself im 21 years of age and always considered myself straight until I say 2 1/2 months ago. I think I have showed signs of OCD in the past but always had the thought everyone has these thoughts.

1) . checking taps were off 3/4 times just incase it flooded the house and my mum would have to pay as she ws in debt at the time.

2). checking if doors were locked 4 times before I went to sleep so my family didnt get burgled and i'd lose my favorite items.

3). checking if stoves were off after I used them to ensure the house didnt burn down.

4). when I was in my young young years this one is the stupidest of them all worrying about dieing before a big football match i wanted to watch and that re-occured every time before a match.

5). tidying up my draw over and over again to ensure it was neat and tidy and everything was in place.

but now It has targeted a new theme my sexuality and not sure if its possible for my ocd to go away for a few years and come back as strong as this @@@@@@@ "hocd"

firstly it started off with looking at a mans bum at work nothing sexual about it but i then got into my head does this make me gay and all that nonsense and then spiralled out of control from that day onwards tbh.

but in the lead up to this incident someone called me a "gay @@@@@@@" i then questioned that and did think to myself i have never had a proper girlfriend before and started worrying but was able to shake it off until the moment above.

i've been through the whole mental rumination of looking back into my past for "clues" and some have gave me moments of solace and others not so much. im now at the point where i'm kinda controlling the thought buts my general mood is pretty poor and i feel there is no way back for me to try and talk to woman like i used to which i would love more than anything.


i feel like an alien compared to my friends nowadays like they are all chasing girls and im the odd one out due to this ###$ up and tbh i never really did have much with ladies when it came to sex and still don't to this day and ED has taken over all that.

CURRENTLY AT THE POINT OF NO RETURN I BELIEVE as i have bought into to what the "OCD" has told me and i feel like its the only way out.

would like some advice please?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

please in need of a response

Hey there,

We have been speaking through IM so you know some of my thoughts about your concerns. It sounds like your anxiety has a grip on your perceptions to the point where it has snowballed into something nasty and unsettling that's making you miserable. Passing involuntary thoughts will run through someone's heads like that but it has no bearing on your sexuality. Intrusive thoughts are incredibly common with young people - including thoughts such as attacking a person on the street, having sex with a lecturer or a relative, pushing a dog off a cliff or burping at random. Having a fleeting intrusive thought doesn't mean that you want to do any of those things though - they're random and unpredictable, and are common among the general population.

It seems like your brain has taken these intrusive thoughts and used them as fuel for your possible OCD. "Oh, it seems like jfowler12345 looked at a man's bum in passing! What if he's actually gay?!?" Anxiety hungers on a person's fears and insecurities and repeatedly picks and picks and picks at them until you are whittled down to a shadow of your former self. I know this because when I experienced serious hypochondria (constant fear of diseases and dying) I remember saying to my sister that I had no real interests anymore. When it gets that far, you need to get intervention.

Best,

N.

thanks for your support been a real help.

the anxiety comes and goes tbh it happens when im in certain situations :/

tbh i would happily live lonely and by myself than that used to have a lot going for me when sexuality wasn't a theme in my life.

seems like the theme is more moving onto me not wanting to be with my girlfriend which i do want to be with her and always have done.

plus had some insecurities regarding sex and that due to my ED and dont really like talking about stuff like that to people.

then again i could be assexual or be a latent homosexual.

because my anxiety didnt last long like a month and a bit was off work for 3 weeks with this $#%^