ROCD is he cheating

So here is another form of my OCD and this time it's about my boyfriend. So I am scared he is cheating on me even though there is no reason (according to my mom). He hasn't texted me in a day (which isn't abnormal, happens once in a while, he is pretty busy now so...) and this girl commented on his post saying have a nice time...I just had a panic attack for 20 minutes...I haven't had one in two months...so I have no idea what the heck to do because this really threw me off guard since it is a different form of my OCD. My HOCD also is pretty sucky right now. What do you guys think? Do you think he is cheating...

Dear Ahay:

It is interesting: when you don't worry about your boyfriend cheating, theoretically, he may, right? But when you are worried about him cheating, it is as if your thoughts of him cheating are going to make him cheat.

Reality is, whether he is cheating or not has nothing to do with your thoughts. Your thoughts are happening in between your ears only and they do not materialize in reality. Thoughts are mental events, not 'flesh and blood" reality.

It helps me (OCD for 50 years) to think about it this way: the danger (whatever it is) existed before I just thought about it. The danger exists independently of my thinking about it. My thinking is not going to make it happen, and it is not going to prevent anything from happening. My thinking/ obsessing (and compulsions) are not going to make something bad happen- nor are they going to prevent something bad from happening.

atina