HOCD help im new here.

hey everyone I just need some hocd help here I have been struggling with it since about 14 I'm nearly 21 started off with a finger in the shower then escalating to tranny porn now it glued it self to me really really bad there is no way i just woke up one day had my finger in my bum and then suddenly morphed into gay when all i did was like women before hand never a gay thought in my life before this ocd.anyway One day I was kissing my girlfriend and I thought to myself I hope I don't think that this is a guy or something I was suffering bad with hocd at that time and man now every time I kiss my girlfriend some gay thought happens, but before I had my girlfriend I was hooking up with girls left right centre and the thought never came into my head, i have been very suicidal aswell because the ocd will not go away its been happening for so long....now i cant even hang out with my guy mates with out gay thoughts happening and mens faces popping up in my head...i came out to my mum about all these problems im having and she said even if i was she wouldnt care which was okay but i still didnt even classify my self gay and come out to her because i cant come out to something im not im already out as straight ive been with women my whole life, i have nothing against gays or anything i have had gays friends, its just my orientation is under attack and well frankly its driving me insnae, try telling a gay his straight he will be the same way.

Hey buddy, i'm struggling HOCD too, it's being the hardest months of my life, i can't believe you handle this for so long and i feel so sorry for you having this problem, sometimes i feel that i don't want to hang out with girls anymore because i'm afraid to disturb them with my problems, i wrote here a few days ago, maybe reading my story could make you better. The secret is stop checking, but is so hard when i look for a man i'm instantly asking myself "you feel attracted by him?" or something like that, and my attention goes to my groin for checking, is so annoying, and when i look for a pretty girl is the same i feel like i'm obligated to get instantly aroused by her, sometimes it's hard even for using perfumes because my brain says "do you like that smell? well it's a man smell, so you're gay", sometimes HOCD didn't leave me alone even in my dreams, after i started ERP therapy i started to laugh a lot about thoughts like this hahaha, i also quit porn it was very better after that.
Well, i'm not 100% yet but i think i'll get better, feel free to write me when you need and together we'll get out of this hell called HOCD.
Keep strong, i'll be praying for you get better!


you can read about my story with that here: http://www.psychforums.com/obsessive-compulsive/topic177180.html

Dazzed wrote:Hey buddy, i'm struggling HOCD too, it's being the hardest months of my life, i can't believe you handle this for so long and i feel so sorry for you having this problem, sometimes i feel that i don't want to hang out with girls anymore because i'm afraid to disturb them with my problems, i wrote here a few days ago, maybe reading my story could make you better. The secret is stop checking, but is so hard when i look for a man i'm instantly asking myself "you feel attracted by him?" or something like that, and my attention goes to my groin for checking, is so annoying, and when i look for a pretty girl is the same i feel like i'm obligated to get instantly aroused by her, sometimes it's hard even for using perfumes because my brain says "do you like that smell? well it's a man smell, so you're gay", sometimes HOCD didn't leave me alone even in my dreams, after i started ERP therapy i started to laugh a lot about thoughts like this hahaha, i also quit porn it was very better after that.
Well, i'm not 100% yet but i think i'll get better, feel free to write me when you need and together we'll get out of this hell called HOCD.
Keep strong, i'll be praying for you get better!


you can read about my story with that here: http://www.psychforums.com/obsessive-compulsive/topic177180.html

hey man its hell on earth hey i wish it would go away... im starting to accept the thoughts and just with okay yeah im gay wanna be gay lets all be gay things like that.... but sometimes i started feeling gay because i started saying it to much from the ocd then it trys to trick me back and say why am i saying this maybe im gay... its a beast this ocd... praying for you too brother

This is part of ERP, after you start to accept these thoughts things can get really weird. I had i spike yesterday and today i woke up really bad, HOCD evolved hard in the last weeks for me, i have this compulsion where i need to research about it 24/7 to keep checking if i still have the HOCD symptoms, this made really bad for me, so stop looking for answers is a good thing.
Thanks for the support and keep strong!