POCD thoughts - I could use more insight!

Hey guys, I posted something a couple of hours ago but it looks as if it didn't post? Not sure what happened, but this is what I said.

I want to start by thanking everyone that responded to my first post, it helped, and I appreciate that. Everyone on here is so awesome.

Anyways, so my issue started off when I was about 15 or 16 years old. I was babysitting a little boy and he went to go use the restroom and he was having a hard time pulling his pants back up, so he yelled for me to help him. I went in the bathroom to help him, but when I saw "everything," I had that scary groinal response. Which I hate. I immediately felt sad and it bothered me for a bit. I was able to let it go after a while though. I have been reading that a groinal response is caused by OCD and anxiety but my OCD didn't start until after that time. (Not because of that either). So now I'm always scared that I really do have an issue.

Here is another weird thing though: last summer, some of my family came down to visit and my cousin brought his girlfriend with him and she has two little boys. We were all hanging out in the hotel rooms (conjoined rooms), laughing and having a good time... During this time, one of the little boys took off all his clothes and started running around naked. As he ran past me, I got freaked out and did my best to avoid him. (Now don't laugh at me), but the only thing I could do is throw myself against the wall... It was the furthest I could get from him. LOL... I didn't want him to touch me or come near me.

So you can imagine my confusion.

I have also read that OCD can cause feelings and arousals that are not real. But is this really true? I have had actual feelings like I WANT to do something to a child and that I would if it was legal. I immediately feel horrible when I do have those feelings... I mean, HORRIBLE. I get depressed.

Could use some more insight. Thanks all. <3

Dear Lee88:

If there was a survey (and there may be) about what turns on teenage boy, 15 and 16, I bet there is a list of thousands of things that turned on boys who would answer this question honestly. Anything and everything can trigger a groinal response from a teenage boy. Most of the things that do, a teenager doesn't pay attention to, but things that are ethically wrong such as child sexual abuse trigger such anxiety in those inclined to feel anxious, that those thoughts don't leave like all the many others. We obsess on them.

I bet there is a teenage boy out there that got a groinal response looking at a donut. That thought: "I got turned on by a donut" may be a funny thought and the teenager lets it go, no big deal. But when you had a groinal response looking at a naked little boy- it is different because the behavior suggested is terrible.

But it is the behavior that would be bad, not the thought and not the groinal response. We do not automatically go through a complex behavior of acting on such a thought, as arranging to sexually abuse a child. It is a planned activity requiring many thoughts and acting on many thoughts along the way of achieving the terrible act of child abuse.

But the thoughts themselves and the groinal response as any feelings, these are not dangerous and it is common and natural for teenage boys/ young men especially to be turned on by many, many.. many things.

atina

atina wrote:Dear Lee88:

If there was a survey (and there may be) about what turns on teenage boy, 15 and 16, I bet there is a list of thousands of things that turned on boys who would answer this question honestly. Anything and everything can trigger a groinal response from a teenage boy. Most of the things that do, a teenager doesn't pay attention to, but things that are ethically wrong such as child sexual abuse trigger such anxiety in those inclined to feel anxious, that those thoughts don't leave like all the many others. We obsess on them.

I bet there is a teenage boy out there that got a groinal response looking at a donut. That thought: "I got turned on by a donut" may be a funny thought and the teenager lets it go, no big deal. But when you had a groinal response looking at a naked little boy- it is different because the behavior suggested is terrible.

But it is the behavior that would be bad, not the thought and not the groinal response. We do not automatically go through a complex behavior of acting on such a thought, as arranging to sexually abuse a child. It is a planned activity requiring many thoughts and acting on many thoughts along the way of achieving the terrible act of child abuse.

But the thoughts themselves and the groinal response as any feelings, these are not dangerous and it is common and natural for teenage boys/ young men especially to be turned on by many, many.. many things.

atina

Hi there, thank you for your reponse, it does help. I am a female though.. I assume it still applies to us females though.lol

I guess what I am still stuck on now is that a few weeks ago, I saw a young boy, maybe about three years old, and naturally, because of my OCD, I started having unwanted thoughts... then for some reason, I even felt that I actually WANTED that. I haven't let it go since. I havent even been able to focus on anything else, it has been making me depressed and I just want to focus on my relationship and my amazing man.

Dear Lee88:

What I wrote does apply to girls as well. The reason I wrote about teenage boys is that I thought "Lee" is a male name and because it is my impression that most teenage boys/ young men have a stronger sexual sensations than girls/ young women. This is only my impression and I could be wrong. But even if I am correct, I still know that some boys are have less intense sexual sensations than some girls.

Anyway, what you described in your past post, again, is OCD. Once the thought occurred to you, it will come up again and again, fueled by the fact that sexual abuse is such a terrible behavior. But again, your OCD is thinking and think as much as you think, you are not sexually abusing anyone.

All these thoughts happen in the short distance between your ears and have no power outside that short distance.

Fear fuels OCD. Fear... it finds things to attach itself to. If it lets go of this attachment, there are others. So working on fear, on calming yourself, on dealing better with fear, any fear, will be useful.

atina

atina wrote:Dear Lee88:

What I wrote does apply to girls as well. The reason I wrote about teenage boys is that I thought "Lee" is a male name and because it is my impression that most teenage boys/ young men have a stronger sexual sensations than girls/ young women. This is only my impression and I could be wrong. But even if I am correct, I still know that some boys are have less intense sexual sensations than some girls.

Anyway, what you described in your past post, again, is OCD. Once the thought occurred to you, it will come up again and again, fueled by the fact that sexual abuse is such a terrible behavior. But again, your OCD is thinking and think as much as you think, you are not sexually abusing anyone.

All these thoughts happen in the short distance between your ears and have no power outside that short distance.

Fear fuels OCD. Fear... it finds things to attach itself to. If it lets go of this attachment, there are others. So working on fear, on calming yourself, on dealing better with fear, any fear, will be useful.

atina

That is really good advice. Thank you so much. You're right, OCD does latch on to the things we fear the most, it sucks! I just have to keep fighting.

Another thing that gets me though is trying to figure out the difference between one with POCD and one who is an actual Pedophile. I read all the time that pedophiles actually enjoy these feelings and thoughts but then sometimes, I read that pedophiles hate these feelings. So then I think, "I wonder if I am a pedophile and I just hate the feelings."

Dear lee88:

I imagine not all pedophiles are the same as there are no two people that are the same. I suppose some feel badly about what they feel and do and others feel okay about it.

One thing all pedophiles do have in common is that they acted at least one on their thoughts and feelings: at least once they engaged a child with a sexual activity.

You haven't, therefore you are not a pedophile.

Is this making sense to you?

atina

atina wrote:Dear lee88:

I imagine not all pedophiles are the same as there are no two people that are the same. I suppose some feel badly about what they feel and do and others feel okay about it.

One thing all pedophiles do have in common is that they acted at least one on their thoughts and feelings: at least once they engaged a child with a sexual activity.

You haven't, therefore you are not a pedophile.

Is this making sense to you?

atina

It does make sense. Thank you. :)

You are welcome, Lee88. Anytime you need reassurance, post here and I will reply!
atina

atina wrote:You are welcome, Lee88. Anytime you need reassurance, post here and I will reply!
atina

You're so nice!! Thank you! I appreciate the support. :)