Can internet searching be a compulsion?

kah80: I hate this. You only try to find a way to feel better but instead of helping it makes everything worse.

CloudShark: It makes me very uncomfortable to read about it but I do the opposite of avoidance. I think I want to reassure myself and make sure that I can't relate to it.

I can totally understand that tanja. I do the same for other subjects. However, I have a lot of 'magical thinking' and the 'P' word seems to hold an evil power. I fear that just reading about these people will contaminate my very soul and turn me into what I fear the most. I hate it, because I then start worrying that I might know someone in real life who is a pedophile and that might rub off on me.

However, I sometimes feel guilt that I can't bring myself to read about it, as I worry that it means I'm guilty. On the other hand, I know I'm not. It's the dichotomy of OCD really.

People with POCD don't bother me. It's obvious to me that they have OCD and would never hurt a child.

I understand that, this must be very exhausting. May I ask if you also avoid children?

About the whole googling topic: when I was younger I had something like a googling compulsion. I didn't knew about OCD back then but now that I know about it, I think it was a compulsion. I basically feared there might be an embarassing picture of myself on the internet, someone made a screenshot of a more personal Facebook conversation and published it etc. so I always googled my name, locations where I went and anything where I could find something related to myself.

Sorry for changing the subject slightly but I wanted to say that it's so nice to talk to other people with OCD. I saw my doctor today about my diagnosis and he told me to 'chill out' and enjoy my wedding. Obviously I want to enjoy the wedding but if it was that easy to 'chill out', I would have got over my OCD by now.

tanja, I don't need to see children much, but I did avoid them for quite a long time and didn't even leave the house. Then I decided to face up to it. One of the things that worries me about seeing kids is that if I even think the word 'pedophile' around them, then it somehow feels to me as though it's the same as molesting them. It's better than it was though. I know that must sound crazy.

I can understand your internet photo obsession.

kah80, it is nice to talk to other people with OCD. It's really helping me through it.

Your doctor telling you to 'chill out' probably wasn't the most helpful suggestion! If it was that easy we wouldn't have a problem in the first place. Good news about the wedding though. Congratulations!

Edit - sorry to have gone off topic. Let's get back to Googling!

Thank you, and no need to apologise, as it was me that went off topic.

Back on topic, do either of you feel like checking this forum is a compulsion? I check it so many times a day and I've had the same reaction as for googling- reassured if someone reports a similar symptom to mine, and panicked if someone says something that makes it sound like I don't have it.

I posted on the self-harm forum last year about compulsive exercise and someone said 'it doesn't sound like you have OCD' and that really set me off on a panic.

Also, I have what must be an OCD symptom of wanting to post all my symptoms here and have people confirm they are OCD.

Hopefully this was still on topic despite me diverting slightly to forums.

No need to apologise kah80!

Yes, I feel like checking this forum has become a compulsion and I've had to resist the urge to start a thread about it. It was making me feel really guilty. I feel the need to post about stuff and check that it is OCD and not something more sinister.

I've found that I get angry with people if I ask 'is this OCD causing this?' and they reply but don't actually answer the question. I keep asking it again and again until someone answers, but then I doubt their answer.

Yes, I also feel that checking this forum is a compulsion. I thought I was the only one who had this!

Sorry for the short reply, I had to do some stuff but now I have some time.

kah80, I can totally understand that you get angry over this. With me it's like this: when I start a thread on here and I don't get a reply it makes me feel very frustrated. I start thinking that everyone who has read my post and didn't reply must think I'm a pedophile.
And congratulations to your marriage!