OCD in the workplace

People who have read my other posts know that I have problems with women at work. There is one I fancy and I drive myself crazy feeling guilty about it. And there are several other women that I keep thinking I might fancy, although I don't think I do really.

But there is another way that OCD affects me at work. It's about running out of work. I haven't had to worry about that for months, because I've had way too much work and had to do loads of overtime, it's been stressful. I would end most days with at least 50 emails that I hadn't had time to answer, and had got really behind. But last week I had a day switching off new emails and clearing out the old ones only and it has transformed my working life. I left yesterday, early, and had less than 10 emails left. And this is where the worry kicked in.

The stupid thing is I know deep down that I won't. Obviously more emails come in, and there is other stuff to do that isn't emails. But despite this, I can't help worrying. I am sure it is OCD because there are compulsions. Asking for reassurance is a big one. I mention it to my boss often and he reassures me I won't run out of work. I feel relieved for a bit then the worry comes back, what if he's wrong? The other one is avoiding starting things. If I have 5 non-email things to do, I think 'but if I start one I'll only have 4, then eventually I'll run out'. I could start things in plenty of time and do a really good and thorough job but because of the worry I leave them until the last minute and then have to rush them or stay late to finish them on time. Also I'll do things really slowly in the worry I won't have anything to do afterwards but then realise I'm running out of time and get panicked and have to stay late.

Also, I read in an OCD book that many things seem mundane but if you think about the whole scenario, they are actually serious. Here, you might say 'but what does it matter if you run out of work?' Thinking about it, I know I'm worried that if I have nothing to do i'll get fired, hence this fits in with OCD I think?

Does this sound like OCD to other people, and how can I get over it?

I really feel for you as I've had similar experiences with work. Are you seeing anyone for your OCD right now?

The best I can suggest is to do your work to the best of your ability. Your boss won't fire you if you run out of work, they'll just give you more work to do. It sounds like a classic case of OCD and anxiety over complicating everything. It's a pain, but nip it in the bud now. My OCD built up for years before I was diagnosed and it overtook every aspect of my life and I was unable to even leave the house. You can get over this.

Thank you for your reply. It seems you and I have a lot in common!

I was seeing a counsellor last year, before I was diagnosed, but she was useless. It was her who first mentioned OCD, but then she kept telling me I don't have it, despite me telling her lots of stuff that I now know is OCD. I had my assessment last month and they put me on the NHS waiting list for treatment but the waiting list is a year long. I can obviously see someone else in the meantime but I'll have to pay. I'm getting married in 5 weeks so don't really want to start anything before that, although I do wonder if the stress of the wedding is making my OCD worse.

I know I'll have loads of emails when I get back from honeymoon, but im losing a fair bit of work after this year. My boss says I'll have more to make up for it, but it is worrying me a bit.

Glad your ocd isn't getting in the way of your relationship still to the point where you're going to get married. Weren't you considering calling it off before?

Not really, sometimes I feel like it though. I do stress about it. There are legitimate reasons to stress about it, but my OCD makes them worse. And my fiancée isn't always understanding of my OCD.

The stress of the wedding could be making it worse, but it sounds like you're keeping it together. Mr Shark is a great guy, but doesn't understand why certain things have me tied up in knots. These thoughts and ruminations seem REALLY important and people without OCD and anxiety don't get that, but she obviously loves you and wants to get married.

Are you seeing your community mental health team or a CPN? I have a care coordinator and he's really helpful, as he deals with this stuff all the time. I think GP surgeries have to have their own psychiatric nurse and you can ask to see them. You can usually get a few appointments with them. Perhaps it would be a good short term fix until the treatment?

Thank you, well I'm seeing my doctor on Tuesday so will ask what he recommends in the meantime.

I've been thinking today how I don't really have really good days, because if I do I suddenly think I'm cured and maybe never had OCD in the first place and then I start stressing about that.

I have some supportive friends, although one of them upset me a bit yesterday. I was talking about one of my worst OCD habits, about sex. Basically I'm sure that if we don't have it every weekend we'll break up and I nag my partner about it constantly, which of course puts her off, but I can't seem to stop it. Even if I manage not to, I'm constantly stressing about it in my head. Anyway my friend said, as if struck by a moment of genius 'why don't you and her swap roles for the weekend! You can see how annoying it is that you keep going on about it and she can see how it is for you!' I tried to tell him the point is I CANT not talk or think about it. If I could I wouldn't have a problem. I can't just put it aside for a weekend to see what it's like!

Sorry, off topic but wanted to vent.

No worries about venting. I've had similar things about sex in my relationship too. It does seem that we have quite a bit in common.

People on here keep saying that doubting you have OCD is really common. It's good to hear that you're seeing your doctor.

How interesting that we have yet another thing in common!

Yeah I worry that I'm doubting because I don't actually have it, but then I've read that the level of doubt is characteristic of OCD and I have been diagnosed by both my doctor and a psychiatrist, so I guess I have it!