This is OCD, right

I've had family agree with me that it's OCD, and it seems similar to a lot of OCD sufferers, but I've never really been diagnosed. I just wanted to know the thoughts of the forum here.

I'm 22 now, and it's been going on at least since high school (maybe earlier I can't remember)...
My particular brand of this problem (and it seems there are lots!...) goes as such. I'll have uncrontrolled unpleasant thoughts (the obsessions), usually involving some sort of danger to myself (I'll explain later). Well, my "solution" (the compulsive part of the disorder, I guess) is to basically "go back"...touch something again, retrace my steps, repeat an action etc., things I did while having the thought, as a way to sort of cancel it. You know, so it doesn't happen. I know, terribly irrational, imaginary, and pointless. But it is sooo hard to stop.

Normally, an individual thought is not so much of a hindrance...I'll immediately "take care of it", as I do, and it's a few seconds wasted. The problem is when I start getting obsessions going over and over again, and it adds up to be pretty crippling at times.

The thoughts/obsessions themselves have changed over time...but in general, they involve some sort of fear or threat (usually to myself), you know things like death, pain, accidents, house burning down, all the good stuff! Even if it's something that's completely improbable to even happen, the fear is the same. The funny part is, I'm a really rational skeptical person otherwise...non-religious, don't believe in magic or the paranormal or anything, but it still subconciously feels so much better to just "cancel" these thoughts, like it actually stops them from happening...which I know is ridiculous, but it's such a built-in habit now. I feel like I can quit this at any time but for some reason here I am, still suffering -_- I hope people can be understanding...

You'll need to talk to a medical professional to get a diagnosis, but it does sound a lot like OCD.

My OCD is more mild and presents more in dermatilomania and hypochondria, but I totally understand how frustrating it is to have these thoughts when you're a generally skeptical person. You suddenly have this thought that something bad will happen, and if you can just "do this one thing" then it won't. And even though you KNOW that doing that thing won't change anything, you also know you feel better if you do it so you just do it.

One thing I've done to help combat some of my things is the "5 levels of why" or something like that...I don't know the official name.

You get a notebook and when you have an obsession/compulsion you write it down. "If I don't touch the doorknob, I'm going to fall down the stairs later" or whatever it is. Then you write "Why?" And you have to force yourself to explain it, and you're not allowed to write "I don't know" or "just because" or whatever. You have to dig deep to come up with a reason why you think this is going to happen. Usually what it turns into is "Because I had a vision of myself falling down the stairs when I touched the doorknob" "why?"....and at this point you either have to write "Because I'm imaginging things and my obsession is trying to control me" or "because I have ESP and am magical" and typically the first one breaks me out of my OCD cycle.

TheLogos wrote:You suddenly have this thought that something bad will happen, and if you can just "do this one thing" then it won't. And even though you KNOW that doing that thing won't change anything, you also know you feel better if you do it so you just do it.

Yes, this is it exactly!

TheLogos wrote:You get a notebook and when you have an obsession/compulsion you write it down. "If I don't touch the doorknob, I'm going to fall down the stairs later" or whatever it is. Then you write "Why?" And you have to force yourself to explain it, and you're not allowed to write "I don't know" or "just because" or whatever. You have to dig deep to come up with a reason why you think this is going to happen. Usually what it turns into is "Because I had a vision of myself falling down the stairs when I touched the doorknob" "why?"....and at this point you either have to write "Because I'm imaginging things and my obsession is trying to control me" or "because I have ESP and am magical" and typically the first one breaks me out of my OCD cycle.

I'll have to try this...thanks