Harm OCD?

Today, my wife and I were taking up some floorboards in our bedroom. At one point, I pulled up a floorboard that my wife was also working on. As I pulled it up it flashed across my mind that I should stop because I might hurt my wife's fingers. But I didn't stop and just pulled it up. It was only by luck and chance that I never hurt her, but the intent was there. The intent flashed across my mind but it was there and as said, it's only by luck I didn't hurt her

I love my wife dearly, and it's no exaggeration when I say that she is my life. I would NEVER hurt her, so quite why I thought and did this is beyond me. Only thing in my defence, is that I only pulled on the floorboard every so slightly, but I still pulled on it

Not sure how I feel. Scared, ashamed, a bit shocked. All I can do is put this down to experience and try to make sure it never happens again.

The trouble is that I always tell myself I'd never hurt anyone, but this obviously destroys that myth

Dear Jaracove:

is it possible that you have been so afraid so often to hurt her/ others, that part of you is sick of being afraid and said: Just do it and get it over with. That is doing what you are afraid of doing so you are no longer afraid of doing it- here it is done...?

You know I write again and again that first in OCD there is fear. Calm yourself again and again. Having had OCD for so long, I don't need special occasions to calm myself down. I already know I am afraid most of the time. Notice your body, are you breathing freely.. are your muscles tight- if so, safe to assume you are afraid.

Soothe yourself often...
atina

I don't know Atina

All I know is that sometimes it feels like my mind is the enemy. It's disconcerting to not trust your own mind.

The positive out of today's event is that I am not fully aware of whatever it was that happened earlier. It won't happen again if I can help it.

Dear Jaracove:

This incident distressed you a lot, I understand.

My own mind being my enemy, I can relate. what is the saying about getting to know one's enemies... it makes sense to apply it to one's brain.

Take care of yourself:

atina