Guilt

The woman I have a crush on at work just got engaged. When I found out I felt weird. Jealous. I shouldn't. I mean I'm engaged too and she's straight and I'm gay. But I feel really guilty about feeling jealous. And in my head I keep thinking 'does this mean I'd rather marry her than my partner?'

Is this something I ought to feel guilty about?

Hey, Kah80. Hope this isn't late.

From what you described, no, I don't see a reason to feel guilty about anything. You didn't do anything ''wrong''', so why feel like that?(Even if you did, ''wrongness'' is painfully subjective. So either way there's nothing to worry about. Sometimes you like a person and feel kinda selfish in regards to who gets their presence the most often. It's fairly common behavior.

But since this is an OCD thing, I know no amount of reassurance helps in the end. You know the drill. And if you don't, it's to let the thoughts be acknowledged, but not focused on. Eventually, their grip will lessen, and it will end soon enough. Given it's not of the severe variety. I doubt anything but this is necessary in this case. Not even therapy.

But I do have a question. If this is a girl that's getting engaged, and you mentioned that you're gay, how could you have a crush on her? unless you're another woman or something. That bit seemed off to me.

Take care. Contact me if you need any help with anything.

Thanks. I am a woman if that helps!

I appreciate your answer.

Good timing actually as I saw on Facebook last night she had her engagement party and I felt jealous again, then felt guilty for feeling jealous.