Harm OCD or Paraphilia? Really need your help! *may trigger*

Hi, I am new to the forum. I have been having images of raping female (children in particular) in my mind for about three months now. I am so afraid that these thoughts could become action, and that I may kill someone (accidentally or not) in the process, be put to jail forever, never see my family again, and disappoint and put shame on them for eternity.

I watched pornography on the internet since I was 12/13. Some of which were of sexual abuse theme. I have also had sexual fantasies about children occasionally. But I think I am equally attracted by adults (or more so? I'm not sure.)

When I searched online about OCD, I found that intrusive OCD thoughts are ego-dystonic. But when thoughts about raping (adults or children) pop out into my mind (and when I fail to resist them quickly enough) I got sexually aroused, followed by fear. Does it mean my thoughts are ego-syntonic? Most of the time I tried to resist them as soon as I realised they were coming, but sometime I deliberately think about it as if to check whether I really enjoy it or not.

I am very aware of dark alleys when I walk on a street, and experience a mixture feeling of anxiety and something else when I see them. I am also very aware of little girls on the street, and feel like a predator when I look at them. Whenever I walk in the same direction as some female I felt as if I was following them. I really want to quit my job and stay at home forever but my family just wouldn't agree with it.

I have been seeing clinical psychologist and tried CBT for two months. My psychologist wouldn't let me continue my safety measures such us keeping both hands occupied with objects, thinking about the Cross when bad thoughts come up, and keeping myself on phone when out on the street.

I have just started taking SSRI for 2 days. The situation worsens during this week. When I woke up one morning a thought came up and said "just let it (bad thing) happen today". Another day when I woke up another thought came up and said "you never tried it, maybe it can reduce your pressure". Yet another day when I saw a little girl on the street (with her mom) I hear a voice in my mind saying "abduct her". Just a while ago when I was on my computer, I suddenly had a thought "research how to rape". All these thoughts are making me more and more scared, and they are becoming repetitive like new obsessive thoughts, and even appear in my dream and affect my sleep.

Do I have OCD or pedophilia+sexual sadism or all of them? What should I do, to prevent bad things from happening, and to cure my illness? Please offer your kind help!