Was doing ok now I'm certain I'm gay and hocd was a cover socared

So, this deals a lot with mastubation and I don't mean to be vulgar so just warning you.

A couple of nights ago I noticed that I did not flinch when gay thoughts creeper in my head, nor did I feel the same sense of repulsion or fear when this first started about 6 months ago.

I became worried when I noticed I started to a get a little excited so I felt the need to strum my own banjo so to speak and became horrified when I became severely aroused much quicker then when I thought of straight images in my head.

I immediately tried again and forced my self to think of straight images and became even more worried when it took longer to "get up there".

Next thing I know I was getting off repeatedly first thinking of gay images then straight, I actually counted how long it took between each thought process. Even tested with sexy images of both genders.

Each time I found myself aroused to same sex images I was screaming in my head at my body, begging it stop. I flet like my brain crying the entire time.

I was begging that looking at straight images would be the arousal time then that off the same sex images.

Sometimes it beat it sometimes it didnt. But I became so terrified when looking back I felt I was denieing, that it was much easier to get aroused to gay images then straight.
During same sex images I felt this weird tingling sensation I didn't feel with boys, it was in my arms and stomach, but it was like they were numb, kinda filled with air.
I don't want to date girls, but now I feel it's inevitable.

While at the same time I simultaneously am noticing boys now more then ever before!

Some moments during the day I feel straight and confident that this just a disease, but this exact same scenario has been going for 3 days straight now! I can't sleep I'm scared, I'm scared at how numb I am.

God I just want someone to tell me this isn't happening it's all in my head!!!

From the tone of your post you sound less certain than the title to be honest.

I think a lot of people feel that way when it comes to OCD and especially with sexual themes. Feel guilt and shame right?

Idk what to say regarding getting off to? It's been said that some straight women can get off to lesbian porn just fine and are not lesbians or bisexual so... The fact that you say you notice opposite sex more now is a good sign. I don't have that so much yet.